


When We Say Goodbye

by 11JJ11



Series: Goodbye [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Broken Families, Custody Arrangements, Divorce, F/M, Family, Post-Divorce, forgotten feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-02-07 19:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12848397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/11JJ11/pseuds/11JJ11
Summary: Alain had left her many times before, but upon marrying the love of her life Mairin had thought that he would never leave her side again. But some people just never change, and she soon finds Alain leaving her once more, this time with a painful divorce. But with a daughter between them, they are still very much apart each other's lives. [Broken Marissonshipping.]





	1. Chapter 1

****“Do I have to go to Daddy’s house?”

Mairin glanced at the rear-view mirror at the small child in the back seat. The five year old girl was sitting in a booster seat, staring out the window. A limp Fennekin plush was wrapped in her arms, the small girl fidgeting as she watched buildings roll by.

“Don’t you like spending time with Daddy, Faith?” Mairin asked the young girl, keeping a simple ‘unfortunately’ from slipping off her tongue instead. A pair of bright amber eyes met Mairin’s in the mirror, a deflated look on her daughter’s face.

Faith let out a loud sigh. “There’s just nothing to do at Daddy’s,” She muttered, hugging her Fennekin doll closer. “We never do anything– Dad’s just in his office all day until it’s dinnertime or something, and I get so bored, Mommy. I never get to play with him.”

Mairin’s throat tightened at this news, but she had to force her gaze away from the mirror so she could focus on her driving. The woman’s hands had noticeably tightened on the steering wheel. She stole one more glance at her dark-haired daughter, before looking out at the road.

“...Does he read you bedtime stories?” Mairin asked. “Tuck you in? Take you anywhere?”

“Nuh-uh,” Faith replied, before adding on: “Sometimes he does tuck me in and give me a kiss– but usually he’s in his office at bedtime.”

Mairin gritted her teeth– she knew that her ex-husband wasn’t the most cheerful and social person– but that did not mean he had the right to neglect their daughter. She swallowed the desire to turn the car around and take Faith home– but it was his week to have her. He had custody over her only one weekend a month, and then one week for the summer months, a schedule they had worked out for when Faith would be enrolled in school.

And here she was about to drop her daughter off for his week of June– and she was finding out that he barely gave her the time of day.

“I’ll talk to your father when we get there,” Mairin said, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. “And I’ll make sure he spends time with you this week.”

“How much longer until we're there?” Faith asked, plucking at the tuffs of hair coming from the Fennekin doll’s ears.

Mairin glanced around at the buildings– which were getting dingier by the block. “Only a few more minutes.”

“Oh...” Faith said, voice void of any excitement. Mairin took in a deep breath, not wanting her daughter to see her angry.

But she did have some words in mind for when they’d arrive at Alain’s.

* * *

 

Mairin supposed that Alain’s apartment was a decent size for the part of Laverre City he was living in– but that didn’t change the fact that she was less than happy leaving her daughter there every month.

She was sure to double check that her car was locked as she parked it on the streets, the horn echoing in confirmation. Faith’s hand was wrapped tightly in hers, the girl’s backpack swung over Mairin’s shoulder. She glanced around at the graffitied walls and the garbage blowing about the streets, shuddering to herself. She tugged Faith closer to her, before heading off towards Alain’s building.

“Second floor, room twelve,” Faith muttered as they entered the building. “Daddy says not to go anywhere else if I somehow get outside of his apartment, don’t talk anyone else, just go up the stairs and find the twelve.”

“At least he’s done one thing right,” Mairin said, mostly to herself as she lead Faith towards the stairs– she did not trust the elevators here.

“One-two,” Faith said, her Fennekin doll in one hand as they climbed the steps. “Daddy says the twelve looks like a one-two– but one plus two is three, isn’t it?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Mairin said, more focused on scanning the dark hallways than she was listening to her daughter. There was no one else in sight as they headed up the stairs, but she wasn’t going to relax until her daughter was in Alain’s apartment.

And she probably wouldn’t even relax then.

The light on the second floor was flickering as they reached it, a Spinarak making a web across the light. Apartment number eleven stood to their right, which Mairin quickly looked over, eyes locking on twelve. Mairin stiffened up as she noticed someone walking away from the door however– someone that wasn’t Alain.

The green-haired woman looked right at Mairin, a slight smirk crossing her face like they had a shared secret. The woman’s gaze then flickered towards Faith, giving her a small, mocking wave with her fingers. Faith looked up at Mairin uncertainly at this action– who pulled her daughter in close to her, inching back up towards the wall. The smirk on the woman’s face didn’t fade, simply walking past them towards the elevator.

“Who was she, Mommy?” Faith asked, breaking the tense silence once the woman was gone. “Why was she at Daddy’s place?”

Mairin struggled against a lump at her throat– this wasn’t her business, it didn’t matter... it didn’t matter! It had been over a year since the divorce, Alain could be with whoever he pleased, it wasn’t her business...

“Probably just a neighbor,” Mairin said, voice a bit higher as she tried to keep her tone even. “C-come on, let’s go in now, ‘kay...?”

Making sure that Faith was right at her side, Mairin guided her towards the door, knocking.

No answer.

Mairin closed her eyes, counting in her mind to thirty before knocking again. Still, she heard no signs of anyone inside moving about, just silence. She gritted her teeth– they did not have time to play waiting games. Once more she pounded on the door, a bit more furiously this time.

“Daddy’s home, right?” Faith asked uncertainly.

Mairin’s voice was a growl. “He most certainly is,” She raised her voice. “And if he knows what’s good for him he’ll come open this door _now!”_

She heard the shuffling of footsteps, slowly walking towards the door. She relaxed slightly, foot tapping impatiently as she listened to the familiar steps approach the door. The door knob jingled– lock clicking as it was pulled open slowly. A pair of sharp blue eyes peered at her from the dim room, before pulling the door open fully.

“Hello,” Alain said softly, voice void of all emotion. His gaze lingered on Mairin for one moment, before drifting down to Faith. “Hi sweetie.”

“Hi Daddy,” Faith said, rocking back and forth on her heels. “Who was just here?”

Alain’s eyes flickered nervously. “You saw her?”

“Yeah, Mommy says she must of been your neighbor,” Faith said, attempting to step forward into the apartment, but Mairin’s grasp made that impossible. “Can I go in now, Mom?”

Mairin hesitated, before loosening her grip. “Yes dear, let me help you with your bag.”

And with that Mairin let herself in, Alain taking a startled step back as she entered. Mairin glanced around the apartment, not wanting to look at Alain. The decent-sized sitting room was connected with small kitchen, a bar between them. There was a hallway that lead off from the kitchen, most likely towards the bedrooms. Alain uncertainly shut the door behind them, lingering by the entrance, eyes glued to the floor.

Mairin swung the backpack off of her shoulder, holding it out towards Faith. The raven-haired girl took it in her arms, struggling to keep it and her Fennekin plush balance in her grasp. Finally she had no choice but to set both of them down, slipping the backpack on, before reclaiming her toy.

“Why don’t you take Kindle and your bag to your room, okay honey?” Mairin said to Faith in the softest tone she could managed.

“Are you going to stay here?” Faith asked hopefully, amber eyes gleaming. Mairin’s heart tightened, and she shook her head.

“I’m just going to talk to your father then head home,” Mairin explained, hating the way her daughter’s gaze fell.

“Oh. Okay then,” She muttered, hugging her Fennekin, ‘Kindle’, closer, heading towards the hallway. Mairin watched her go, refusing to turn around until she heard a bedroom door creaking open, then closing. She took in a deep breath– then turned to face Alain.

He hadn’t moved an inch since she had come in, still by the door with one hand on the knob. He was staring down at his feet, but raised his gaze as she faced him. A jolt ran through her heart as she looked into those intense blue eyes, which were currently dull and emotionless. His expression matched his eyes, as if void of all desire. It wasn’t his emotionless mask he often put on when he withdrew himself though, it was more as if a cloud of sorrow was fogging his face.

Mairin gritted her teeth, hating just how easily she could read him at times. How familiar every fidget and flicker of his gaze was.

“Absolutely _no_ girls anywhere near here while Faith is here– is that clear?” Mairin growled at him.

Alain shifted guiltily. “I know what you’re thinking, but she wasn’t my–”

“Do you think I care Alain?” Mairin snapped. “It may have taken me a few months, but I’ve moved on past you a long time ago. I don’t care what you do and who you do it with– just not near my daughter.”

There was a flicker of hurt in his eyes, though it only lasted a moment. He opened his mouth, struggling for words. _“Our_ daughter. Faith is our daughter.”

“Is that so?” Mairin asked, crossing her arms. “Then why was I informed on my way here that you don’t spend anytime with her while she’s here?”

Alain pulled back slightly. “You know I have work–”

“On the weekends?” Mairin asked, voice cracking. “You said you didn’t work on the weekends– that’s why you wanted her then in the first place. Did you lie then, or are you lying now?”

Alain closed his eyes, fists clenching with anger. “I don’t have control over my schedule–”

“You work at home for Yveltal’s sake!” Mairin cried, louder than she intended. “Is it too much to ask you to spend time with your daughter? She’s going to be spending a whole week here this time– and a week here these next two months! Do you think I want her alone in this filthy apartment? She’s here to see her father– so you better make sure that happens!”

Alain looked like he would have stepped back, but he was already up against the wall. “I try Mairin, I swear I do–”

She gritted her teeth. “Then try harder– because if she’s not going to spend time with her dad then I don’t want her in this part of town,” She raised her gaze. “I’m not afraid to try to take full custody, Alain, and you know I’d win in court. If you want Faith to stay in your life then you better earn that right and show that you care.”

Mairin hated this– playing the bad guy– but it was the only way to get Alain to do anything. He paid no heed to her begging or sorrows, only the harsh words and threats that came from her. She didn’t want to do things this way, but if it meant things would be better for her little Faith then she would.

Alain’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t do that.”

Mairin took in a deep breath. “I would if it’s best for Faith,” She said, forcing to keep her voice cold. “So if I come by to pick her up at the end of this week, and I hear that you’ve just been cowering away in your office all day things are going to change, Alain. Play with her. Spend time with her. Take her somewhere– be her father!”

His eyes flashed. “Do you think I’d take her out and about in this part of town?”

“You have a car,” Mairin snapped back. “And you’re the one that decided to live here.”

He opened his mouth to argue some more, but the sound of Faith’s bedroom door opening made both of them stop. They knew that she could probably hear their arguments from her room anyways, but there was no need to do it in front of her. Mairin looked towards the hallway, watching as her daughter peered out at them, Kindle in her arms.

“Daddy, can I play with Charizard?” Faith asked quietly, nervously glancing between her parents as if the fighting would start again.

Alain flinched. “Ch-charizard... she’s not h-here right now sweetie... I’m sorry...”

Mairin blinked– Alain never went anywhere without Charizard.

He walked away from the door, slipping past Mairin and he approached their daughter, kneeling down. He had his palms up, as if she were a scared Pokemon about to flee. “How about we go make some lunch though? You still like grilled cheese?”

“I like eggs and toast sandwiches,” Faith said. “And Kindle likes the toast extra burnt.”

She held up her Fennekin doll, holding it as if it were shooting a Flamethrower into the air.

“...You dropped her off,” Alain said as he scooped up Faith, his voice turning cold. “You can leave now.”

Mairin hesitated– wanting to hug her daughter goodbye, but not wanting to go near Alain. He turned towards her, holding Faith close as if he realized what he was doing to her by holding their daughter. His protective arms held Faith, his bright blue eyes locked on Mairin, as if daring her to come closer. She was stiff, but forced herself to go forward, and she gave Faith a hug.

Her arm brushed by Alain’s shoulder, but she ignored this.

“I love you honey,” Mairin said, planting a kiss on Faith’s forehead before pulling back. “I’ll see you in a week.”

“Bye Mommy!” Faith said as Mairin headed towards the door. “I love you!”

“I love you more!” Mairin said with a small smile, pulling the door open.

Faith puffed up, shifting in her father’s arms. “Well, I love you most!”

“And I love you more than most,” Mairin replied as she headed out the door. “I’ll see you soon.”

Neither she or Alain offered each other a farewell, and she shut the door behind her. She stood out in the hallway for a moment, realizing that her limbs her shaking.

Just a week, then she’d have her daughter back.

She tried to push Alain from her mind as she headed down the stairs– the hurt that appeared in his eyes, and the way he’d say nothing as if he were the victim. She gritted her teeth– it was just all a facade– this was what he wanted.

The time consuming job, living in the worst part of town– he had chosen this life. Mairin knew that he could have gone for better options, they were there. It was his fault that he was putting these barriers between him and his daughter. If he wanted her so badly he could have done things differently, set up different arrangements, make sure the right environment was there.

Mairin hadn’t asked for this life for her daughter– she wanted Faith to have the best situation possible.

Alain was the one that had wanted the divorce, Alain was the one drove their family apart.

But what hurt the most was the fact that Mairin knew that they were long past the point of ever fixing it.

* * *

 

_Ring! Ring!_

Mairin glanced down at her phone in surprise as she pulled up into the driveway of her home, blinking as she saw the familiar number flickering up on screen. She quickly pulled the car into park, not bothering to pull into the garage as it open, quickly reaching for the device.

“Faith?” Mairin asked as she picked up, a familiar girl flickering into view as she answered the call. “Is everything okay?”

Mairin was pretty much against the idea of giving young children their own phones, but just knowing the fact that her daughter would be away from her had changed her mind for the most part. The ‘phone’ Faith had was very simple– only three numbers able to call in and out from the device. Hers, Alain’s, and the police. There was no need for her to have anything else, and it gave her a way to connect her daughter in case of an emergency.

“Uh-huh,” Faith said, her blue-tinted form bobbing on the screen. “Daddy’s just working and I got bored. It’s okay that I called you, right?”

“Of course honey,” Mairin said, a sigh of relief and a pang of anger rushing through her at once. “He got you lunch though, right?”

“Yep!” A grilled cheese sandwich was waved on screen. “But Daddy said he had a lot of work to do tonight,” Faith looked down at the ground. “His office door is locked too, so I can’t get in.”

It was about a twenty minute drive from her house to his place– he couldn’t even last twenty minutes with their daughter?

She knew his work schedule couldn’t be this hectic– his paycheck simply wasn’t big enough for it. She knew as well, since she received two-thirds of it every month due to alimony. More than the average separated spouse would normally give– but Alain had insisted.

He had been very giving during the separation– giving her house, car, and two-thirds of their money without second thought. He had claimed it was only fair since she was going to be the main caretaker when it came to Faith. Her lawyer had been impressed as well, especially with how insistant and willing he was with giving Mairin a decent alimony. ‘Kind’, as her lawyer had put it.

But it had done nothing but pained Mairin– she knew that he had just been trying to make things go quickly.

He had really wanted to have distance between them.

“Did he say what you could do?” Mairin asked uncertainly– half of her wanting to drive straight back and pick up Faith now.

“He says not to touch anything unless it’s in the kitchen or my room,” Faith said, almost proudly that she was remembering this. “I can only turn on the tv if I keep in on the kid’s station, and I’m not allowed to go out of the apartment without him. There’s apple juice on a lower shelf in the fridge just for me!”

So he could take time to explain rules, but not to be with her.

“Oh yeah, he says to be quiet too,” Faith added, biting into her sandwich. “And not to hover outside of his office door. I don’t know what he means by that though– I’m not a psychic type– I can’t hover!”

Telling a five year old to be quiet the rest of the day? Great parenting Alain.

“Why don’t you call me back when you’ve finished eating,” Mairin said. “And I’ll tell you a story over the phone– how does that sound?”

Faith’s eyes lit up happily. “Will you tell me one at bedtime too?”

“If your father’s busy,” Mairin replied, though she had a feeling he would be.

“Yes!” Faith said happily, hastily biting into her sandwich. “I’ll call you real soon!”

“Make sure you chew everything into tiny bites before you swallow–” Mairin added, but Faith had already hung up. She leaned back in the seat of her car, rubbing her temples.

One day– Alain had one day to work out his schedule with Faith– and then she was calling him.

* * *

 

Mairin had ended up spending most of the day on the phone with Faith. The young girl had chattered away about how Daddy had been out of eggs for a sandwich, and how happy she was that she had remembered she packed her favorite blanket, just simple things like that. Mairin had just listened for the most part, and occasionally told her a story when requested.

She had been hoping that Alain would interrupt them– that he’d come in to be with his daughter– but it had just been the two of them throughout the day.

Mairin was currently in a virtual tea party with Faith and her Fennekin, and she was starting to lose her patience with Alain.

“Would you like more sugar, Mommy?” Faith asked, holding an invisible spoon of sugar out.

“Sure,” Mairin said, sighing. Her daughter was playing tea party with a phone– this wasn’t what a five year old needed!

“Mommy?” Faith’s voice snapped her out of her anger. “I’m hungry.”

Mairin hesitated. “You'll have to ask your father to get you something to eat, I'm not there honey.”

Faith gave her an uncertain look. “Daddy says not to disturb him unless it's an emergency.”

“Food is important Faith. Just pick up the phone and go ask him,” Mairin said, wishing that she were physically there to get her something. And to drag Alain out of his stupid office.

Mairin’s view of the room was turned upside down as Faith picked up the phone, heading towards the door of her room. Even with a few toys scattered about it seemed to be the most organized room in the apartment.

Faith scurried into the dark hallway, making her way to the only other room, which she assumed to be Alain's room and office. A faint light was flickering from under the door– most likely from a computer screen in a dark room. Mairin could hear the clicking of a keyboard, but nothing else.

Mairin watched the phone screen as Faith tried to open the door, but like she had said earlier it was locked. Faith sighed, and settled for knocking. But like when she had been dropped off, there was no answer.

“Daddy!” Faith called, knocking again. She paused for a moment, then knocked again. “Daddy are you in there?”

“...I’m busy Faith,” At last Alain replied, voice quiet and hesitant. “I'll be out as soon as I can.”

“But I'm hungry Daddy,” Faith whimpered.

“I can't come out right now, I'm so sorry,” Alain replied, and Mairin was boiling with anger. “There should be some Oran berries in the fridge, have those until I can get you something.”

“Okay Daddy...” Faith said, face falling. She turned away from the office, heading to the kitchen. The lights were off, only the sun from the small windows providing any light.

Mairin didn't trust herself to speak, not wanting a burst of anger to rush out from her when her daughter could hear. Why had she left Faith there? She had practically left her daughter alone! Faith didn’t say anything to Mairin, simply sliding her phone up onto the counter before opening the fridge. All Mairin’s screen showed was the ceiling as she listened to Faith rummaging through the fridge.

“Daddy doesn’t have a lot of food,” Faith commented. “And his yogurt smells kind of funny.”

Mairin frowned. “Don’t touch that, honey.”

“I won’t, I’m just going to eat the Oran berries,” Faith said, sliding a small plastic container next to the phone. Mairin caught a glimpse of the package of the blue berries as Faith climbed up onto a stool, before pulling both the phone and the berries towards her. Once more Mairin found herself looking at her daughter through the screen as she opened the berries, nibbling one halfheartedly.

“Do they taste good?” Mairin asked, not wanting to leave her daughter in silence.

“I guess,” Faith muttered. “They don’t taste as good as the ones we use to grow in our garden,” She glanced down at the screen. “Do you remember our garden Mommy? We use to grow a ton of berries in there. And carrots, and potatoes, and... other stuff. Why don’t we anymore?”

Mairin glanced down at her hands. “We didn’t have time to plant anything this year. When I’m not at work I’m spending my time taking care of you.”

Faith frowned. “Maybe instead of playing dolls we can plant a garden. I liked the garden– because that’s when Daddy lived in the house with us.”

Mairin’s throat tightened. “...A garden doesn’t mean he’ll live there again.”

Faith sighed. “I know Mommy, but I’d still like a garden again.”

Mairin managed a smile. “Perhaps Chespie and Bébé can help us take care of it when you’re at preschool and I’m at work.”

“Yeah!” Faith said excitedly. “And we can plant Pecha berries!”

“We’d have to wait until next spring to plant anything, but I promise we will,” Mairin said, which made Faith beam. A wave of relief came over Mairin, glad to see the happiness back in her eyes. Just one week, and then she’d have Faith back.

Faith paused as she heard the sound of a door opening. “Daddy?”

“Yes sweetie?” Came Alain’s voice from the hall. Mairin turned away, able to pick up on the heaviness in his tone without even looking at him. She could picture just how Alain was looking at the moment– bags under his eyes, most likely a slight shuffle to his walk. He’d probably have a fake smile on to hide the somberness in his tone, though Mairin knew she’d always be able to see right through it.

She closed her eyes– oh how much she wished Alain could become a stranger again. Oh how she wished her mind could forget the happy memories of him– which only pained her now. She didn’t want him to be familiar, she didn’t want know just how he’d react to every little thing. She didn’t want to know what would make him smile and laugh, she didn’t want to remember how he’d use to hold her and whisper in her ear.

She didn’t want to miss him.

But she did– she missed the man she had once called her husband. She missed her childhood friend that gave her his rare smiles, she missed the man that would fight any battle for her.

“I don’t have too long,” Came Alain’s voice– clearly having not noticed her on the other end of Faith’s phone. “I was only given a short break. What would you like for dinner?”

“Your yogurt smells funny!” Faith declared, and Mairin heard the fridge opening again.

“...It does indeed. Hmm... seems I didn’t stock up much before you came... I’ll have to see if I can get some time to run to the store,” Alain muttered. Mairin hesitated, wondering if it’d be best to hang up now.

“Why are you so busy Daddy?” Faith asked. “Mommy only works in the mornings when I’m at preschool, why do you have to work so much?”

Mairin’s finger paused over the ‘end call’ button.

She could hear Alain hesitating, and she could picture the way his bright blue eyes would flicker back and forth.

“...I don’t have a set schedule like Mairin does,” Alain replied, chills running down her back as he said her name. “I have to get online the moment they need me, which is quite often.”

Mairin gritted her teeth, trying to get the rouge feelings out of her.

“Why don’t you get a new job then?” Faith asked, plopping another berry in her mouth as Alain rummaged around the kitchen, opening cupboards and drawers. “I’d like to play with you Daddy– do you remember when you and Charizard would take me and Mommy on rides through the skies?”

“I do...” Alain whispered. “I do remember, sweetie...”

The sound of rummaging stopped, and she could picture Alain standing still, his whole body tense as his eyes grew distance.

“Then you should get a new job, and then we can do that again!” Faith said excitedly.

“...I’m afraid I can’t... this is a job I need to keep...” Alain whispered, opening another cupboard.

“Do you like it?” Faith asked, eager to keep her father in conversation. A pot clanged onto the stove, causing Mairin’s speakers to crackle.

“...No,” Alain said quietly. “I don’t.”

Mairin could see a frown appear on Faith’s face– who seemed to have forgotten her mother was on the line. Oran berry juice was running down her face, which she wiped right on her sleeves.

“Then why do you do it?” Faith asked.

There was a crackling of a package, and the sound of something being poured into a pan. Alain didn’t answer right off, most likely fishing for an answer that could be accepted by someone so young. Mairin’s finger once again hovered over the button to end her call, but she couldn’t bring herself to press it just yet.

“Because it’s the best for you and Mairin,” Alain said softly.

At this point Mairin couldn’t handle the call anymore, and she hung up as tears of frustration stung her eyes. She let the phone clatter to the table, running her fingers through her hair. Why did she do this to herself?! Just when she finally told herself that she could move on, these feelings were dragged back up.

“You don’t miss Alain,” Mairin told herself in a fierce whisper. “You miss the man he once was– he’s not that person anymore.”

She missed the Alain that would hold her on stormy nights, when the memories of Rayquaza were too fresh. She missed the Alain that would smile down on their baby girl and tell her how lucky she was to have her mother’s eyes.

He wasn’t that person anymore.

This was the same Alain that had stopped talking to her, that had grown distance despite her efforts. This was the same Alain that wouldn’t even look at her unless it was necessary.

This was the same Alain that had looked her in the eye and had told her that he had no longer loved her.

Tears pricked her eyes at the memory, how he had seemingly stopped caring overnight. Who had left her to cry alone, that had refused to even offer the comfort of _why._

Mairin picked up the phone, slipping it into her back pocket as she headed up the stairs. She didn’t need to focus on this– Faith was the only thing that mattered in her life now. The only place Alain would have in her life from here on out was being Faith’s father– and it was her job to make sure he played that role.

Even if it meant threatening him with taking Faith away.

No, she had no intentions of taking full custody of her– Faith needed a father figure. But if it would drive Alain to actually take time to be with her, then she’d do it. She loved Faith, and she knew that Alain did as well. Even if that bond was no longer between them, she couldn’t let that fade from her daughter.

* * *

 

Mairin found she had seven missed calls when she returned home from work the next day.

Mondays were always rough, and no relief was added to her when she found the missed calls from Faith. She gritted her teeth– knowing that it meant that she had probably spent another day basically alone. Mairin had promised herself to give Alain a day to try to make things work– and half of it was clearly gone.

“Mommy!” Faith cried as Mairin called her back– the phone having only rang twice before she answered. “Why didn’t you answer my calls earlier?”

Mairin hated the pain in Faith’s voice.

“I was at work honey, you know I’m gone in the mornings. You’re usually at preschool or daycare at this time though... I won’t be able to answer any calls in the mornings while you’re at your father’s, okay?” Mairin hesitated. “How was your day?”

The young girl let out a dramatic sigh. “So boring!” She declared, flopping down on her bed. She held the phone up, allowing Mairin to catch a glimpse of the ruffled blankets, and her Fennekin doll laying next to the pillow. “I woke up in the middle of the night because Daddy’s phone was ringing, and it took me _forever_ to get back to sleep! Then he was working when I woke up, and I didn’t see him until lunch time! And now he’s out shopping, and there’s nothing to do–”

“Wait– he’s not there?!” Mairin cried, cutting her off. Him being in his office all day was one thing– leaving Faith absolutely alone though... Her fists curled.

“Nope! He said he’d back real soon, and to stay in my room until he gets back–” Faith began.

“Honey, I’ll call you right back,” Mairin said through gritted teeth. Faith frowned unhappily, but nodded as Mairin ended the call.

She quickly scrolled through her contacts, a sharp anger running through her. How dare he leave Faith alone! Especially considering where he lived! She was only five for Yveltal’s sake– was it even legal for him to do that at her age?!

She pulled up Alain’s number, knuckles turning white as she pressed ‘call’. Her phone was gripped tightly in her grasp, the phone ringing. Her anger rose as the ringing continued– he better pick up! What made him think he had the right just to–

“...Hello?”

His voice was quiet, which only made Mairn angrier. She glowered up at him, only to discover she was placed at a strange angle for a call. She blinked, taking in Alain’s surroundings. She had to guess his phone was in a cup holder by the angle she was at– and he was currently driving. His eyes were focused straight ahead on the road, hands firmly gripping the steering wheel.

“Alain,” She growled, rage dripping from her tone. “Would you care to explain why Faith is alone?”

He closed his eyes for a moment, not replying right off. He glanced over his shoulder as he changed lanes, eyes never even looking down towards her as he drove on. She couldn’t help but notice that his whole form was tense, jaw tightening like it always did when he was nervous. She fumed to herself– he should be nervous– thinking he could just leave Faith alone.

“I had next to nothing substantial in terms of food for the next few days,” He said evenly. “And I needed to go get some if I was going to feed our daughter. You were at work, and I’d trust Faith alone before I’d trust anyone else I know around here with her, so I left her at home.”

“Have you ever heard of taking her with you?” Mairin cried, her voice shrill. “Or perhaps preparing for the fact that you’re going to have a child at your house beforehand?!”

“...I wasn’t just running to the store. I didn’t want her going with me to the other places– not safe for a child,” Alain said quietly, hands tightening on the steering wheel.

“Then don’t go there!” Mairin snarled. “If Faith shouldn’t be there then neither should you!”

His eyes flashed. “I had no choice– it was for work.”

“Enough about your stupid work!” Mairin screamed. “Stop acting like they control your life! I’d rather you be jobless than not spending time with Faith! I don’t care about the stupid alimony or... or anything! Faith needs you Alain– she shouldn’t be alone!”

Alain gritted his teeth, eyes flickering about. “Then maybe I’m not cut out to be a parent.”

“Clearly not!” Mairin snarled.

“...” He was silent for a moment, pulling to a stop at a red light. He closed his eyes, and Mairin frowned as she noticed him shaking slightly. “Well, I... I... I have been th-thinking on what you said yesterday.”

“I said a lot of things to you yesterday,” Mairin replied. It had barely been one conversation– but it was more than usual.

“I decided that... that you should take full custody of Faith.”

His tone was icy cold, harsh with an unforgiving edge. But his eyes... they looked so afraid.

Mairin blinked as he spoke, surprise momentarily driving her anger away.

“Wh-wha–?”

“You said it yourself– I don’t have the time to be a proper parent for her,” Alain said, eyes locked straight ahead. “It would be better for everyone if you just took full custody of her. I wouldn’t need visitation rights or anything, you’d be able to raise her as you wish.”

“Wha– no– no!” Mairin cried, thoughts scrambling about. “I– I never said that, Alain–”

He cut her off. “I’ve been thinking on this since last night, you won’t change my mind. After this week is over she’ll be just yours, I should already have things in process–”

“I said no, Alain!” Mairin cried, causing him to fall silent. “I– I didn’t mean it, okay! I never truly meant to try to take Faith from your life!” Tears stung her eyes. “I just wanted you to be there for her, that’s all– please just don’t jump on– on these ideas! Maybe, m-maybe I’ve been too hard on you and–”

“I think it’s quite clear I’m not able to be there for her,” Alain snapped. “I’ve made my decision, Mairin.”

Mairin’s vision was blurring slightly. Those were the same words he had said to her over a year ago, when she had wanted to try to fix things between them. Marriage counseling– anything. She hadn’t known what was wrong, she had thought they had been both happy with their marriage, and she had wanted to save it. She had begged him then too not to just jump on things.

_“There’s nothing to ‘figure out’!”_ He had snarled then, his back turned away from her. _“I’ve made my decision, Mairin. We just can’t be together anymore!”_

_“Why?”_ She had remembered the way her tears had also blurred her vision then. _“Why Alain, I thought we were happy, why do you want to–”_

He had then turned to face her, blue eyes blazing. _“Why Mairin? It shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. I– I don’t love you anymore!”_

She was snapped from her thoughts as Alain turned off his car.

“N-no,” She said, mustering her courage. “I’m not going to let you drop custody. She’s your daughter!”

“I’d rather we’d be done with this conversation,” Alain said, turning to face the window.

“No– we’re not done!” Mairin snarled. “Maybe you can walk out on me–” She noticed his body tensing at she said this. “–But I won’t let you walk out on our daughter!”

His whole body had gone still. “I– I didn’t–”

“Faith _needs_ you Alain, she wants her father,” Mairin insisted, and he flinched. “Not a man that locks himself up in his office– but the father she once knew. The one that’d play with her and take her on rides. The father that would sneak her treats when I wasn’t looking, the father that would hold her close and tuck her in at night, the father–”

_“Just shut up Mairin!”_ Alain screamed.

She recoiled, falling silent at his words.

In all the years she had known Alain... not even during their divorce, not even when his patience had run thin when they were kids... He had only said those words in friendly teasing before– but never before had he screamed at her to shut up.

It felt like a blow across the face, stinging and so startling that she couldn’t find another word to say.

“I’m back at my apartment,” He said coolly. “Unless you’d like to continue this conversation in front of your daughter, then I’m going to hang up now.”

Mairin gulped, too many emotions racing through her. “We... we’re not done with this c-conversation. We’re going to t-talk tomorrow.”

He regarded her for a moment, before reaching down and picking up his phone. “Goodbye Mairin.”

And with that, he hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read my story. :) I hope you enjoyed it, even if this fic is a more somber one. All of the characters' actions will be fully explained with time.


	2. Chapter 2

**** Mairin had barely gotten any sleep that night, and with work first thing in the morning she had practically been a living zombie. She had dragged herself through her work place, barely pulling herself through the day, the conversation with Alain from yesterday haunting her mind.

_ He doesn’t really mean it... _ She had told herself. _ He’s just overwhelmed, you saw how much work takes it out of him, you heard what he said to Faith... He loves her. He just needs time, he’s not going to push her away... _

And so Mairin wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not when she found she had no messages when she got home.

Mairin was frowning at her phone– sitting in her front room with a cup of coffee in hand. She had been planning on following up on her promise to Alain and calling him, but she had expecting to have several missed calls from Faith upon coming home. She bit her lip, not quite sure of what to make of this discovery.

Either it meant that Faith had listened to her yesterday, and knew that she would be gone in the morning– or Alain had actually spent time with her today. That would be a good thing, right? That meant that Alain had probably changed his mind, having a night to think on his words probably gave him a chance to realize how rash he had been. She fingered the phone for a moment, before dialing Faith’s number, wanting to know what was going on before she called Alain.

Her insides shriveled as she pressed call– he had wanted to give up custody of her! He had wanted to give up on his own daughter!

_ “The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable, please try calling again at another time.” _

The droziness that had been around Mairin all morning snapped away as she heard the robotic voice, and she suddenly sat up. Coffee was spilled onto her pants at this action, but she didn’t care. Unavailable? Alain’s house always got a good signal! Had the battery ran dry? She had taught Faith to plug in the device at night!

Mairin quickly ended the call, digging through her contacts to find Alain’s number. She hadn’t bothered to memorize his number– feeling that it would only be painful for her to do so. Once more the phone was ringing in her hands, and she stared down at the screen waiting to see Alain’s frustrated gaze.

_ “The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable, please try calling again at another time.” _

“O-okay, don’t panic Mairin...” She muttered to herself, bringing the coffee up to her lips, as if hoping the drink would snap her out of her racing thoughts. “Maybe a cell tower is down or something, that’d explain why you can’t reach them...”

A quick search on the internet yielded no information of such thing though, and Mairin felt her panic start to surge up. Either both of their phones were uncharged, or they somehow were out of range of getting a signal... both of which seemed unlikely. She didn’t want to just let her panic take hold, but that’s what happened as she found herself swiftly dialing Faith’s number again.

And then Alain’s.

And Faith’s once more.

The same message every time, right before she could even hear a ring. Her heart was racing at this point, realizing that she had no way to contact her daughter at the moment. She found herself scrolling to Alain’s number once more, and that’s when she forced herself to stop. She set her phone and mug down, fingers digging into her hair.

She shouldn’t overreact. She knew she couldn’t get through to them by phone, so why waste her time trying to do so? She just needed to take this one step at a time, and not assume the worst. She knew where Alain’s home was, just a little ways away. She could get there with no issue, it wasn’t like they were out of her reach...

There was probably just something wrong with the cell service. She just needed to wait, and if things didn’t change then drive over there and see them in person.

She forced herself to lean back in her chair, no need to panic...

But Mairin was never the most patient of people. She only managed to stay in her seat for a few minutes until she rose– phone in hand, coffee stains sinking into her pants, and she quickly began a search for her purse. She seized them and the keys, and raced out to her car. Maybe this trip would be a waste of gas, but she wanted to make sure her daughter was okay.

Besides, she had told Alain they were going to talk today.

* * *

 

_ Knock knock. _

Twenty minutes later Mairin found herself outside of Alain’s apartment, knocking furiously on the door. Her worries had not been soothed at all during her drive, and the silence echoing back now wasn’t helping. She paused for a moment, trying to listen to any signs of footsteps on the other side of the door.

Nothing.

“Alain?” She called, knocking again. “It’s me– we need to talk!”

He was probably just in his office like always, taking his time to come to the door... 

“F-faith, it’s me, Mom!” Mairin called again after a minute, heart racing. “Can you come open the door...?”

It was quiet, too quiet. She stood outside for a moment, face pale as she tried to process what was happening. Alain and Faith weren’t here– when Alain had made it seemed like he was planning on staying here the whole week when stocking up on food yesterday. Perhaps he had to go out again had brought Faith this time?

But that didn’t explain the phones.

Mairin shakily reached for the doorknob– but it was locked. Her hand sat there, part of her wanting to charge down the door and search the whole place– but she knew that wasn’t possible, or legal. She stumbled back from the door, feeling at a loss for what she should do. She had no idea where her daughter was– and had no way to contact her.

She pulled out her phone once more, but this time she was scrolling through her contacts for another number. It wasn’t one she hadn’t called in sometime, so she was relieved to find it still in her phone. She hesitated for one moment, wondering if it was necessary, before pressing ‘call’.

The phone rang exactly three times before it was picked up.

“Hello, Cilan Dent speaking–”

“C-cilan,” Mairin stuttered out before she could even let the Unovian-born finish. The voice on the other line paused for a moment.

“Mairin?” He asked, sounding slightly surprised.

Mairin was surprised as well, thinking that the lawyer wouldn’t recognize her voice between the many people he had surely worked with over the years. At the same time she was grateful he did– her lawyer hadn’t been one to just do what was needed of him– but had cared for her on a personal level.

“Y-yes,” Mairin whispered.

“It’s been ages!” Cilan said, having not quite notice the waver in her tone yet. “Getting a call from you is quite a pleasant surprise, I hope everything is going well, and that this call is good news–”

“I don’t know where Faith is!” Mairin cried, the words rushing from her, and tears stung her eyes.

Cilan fell silent, though she heard a sharp intake of breath from him. More tears rushed from her, and before she knew what was happening she was crying. She closed her eyes, pressing up against the wall as the tears fell, despair seizing her heart.

“Mairin, calm down,” Cilan said, tone even, though she could hear his urgency. “Tell me what happened, when’s the last time you saw her?”

“I d-dropped her off at Alain’s a f-few days ago,” Mairin hiccupped. “Th-then last night he said he wanted to give up custody, and today I c-couldn’t reach either of them, so I drove out here, and th-there’s no one in his apartment, and–!”

“He wanted to what–?” Cilan cried out in surprise, but he cut himself off as she broke down. “Mairin, I need you to take in a deep breath, okay? I know you’re panicked, but you can’t let your emotions boil over. Deep breaths, then tell me what happened from the beginning.”

She attempted to, but her breath felt almost strangled. More tears came, but Cilan was patiently waiting on the other line. It took her nearly a minute to get to a state where she was breathing normally again. Then with her eyes pressed closed, she shakily told Cilan everything that had happened the last few days.

He was silent most of the time, only interrupting to get a clarifying point, or to soothe her when her emotions built up. She gripped the phone as if it were her lifeline, wishing that Cilan’s office had a video phone like when she talked to Faith. She felt so alone at the moment, and just wanted to see  _ someone. _

“Th-then I called you...” Mairin finished, voice a whisper.

“Hmm...” Cilan muttered as she ended her story, and silence fell between them. “I... I understand why you’re panicked Mairin...”

“But?” She asked, sensing it coming.

Cilan let out a sigh. “But I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do legally,” He said, and she stiffened. “Alain has done nothing wrong– legally he has custody of her at the moment– even if he said he planned on surrendering that. It does sound like they’re somewhere without a signal if both phones are giving you that message...”

“Sh-she’s my daughter, I need to know where–” Mairin whimpered.

“...As long as he doesn’t take her out of the region, he’s still obeying all the terms of your agreement. It is his week for him to have her as you say– I’ve just pulled up your file of the agreement and there’s nothing in here that says he must inform you of where he is when he has her. Unless he keeps her past his week, there’s nothing we can do.”

Mairin’s hands curled around the phone. “Why would he take her though... he was just going on nonstop about how he had no time to be with her, and that’s why he wanted to g-give up custody...”

“I’ll call his lawyer, and see if they’ve heard anything from him about trying to drop custody,” Cilan offered in a tender tone.

She closed her eyes– that wouldn’t help her find her daughter! But she understood what Cilan was trying to do, that he was attempting to find some way he could help her. He couldn’t do anything else, but he didn’t just want to hang up and leave her alone. A surge of gratitude went out to him, and she took in a shaky breath.

“Thank you, Cilan...” She whispered.

“Head home Mairin, and keep trying to call them,” Cilan said. “This might not be as big as we think, they might have just gone out for a drive and hit a dead zone. I’ll be in contact real soon, but I think this is something we just need to let simmer and see what happens.”

Mairin’s throat tightened. “O-okay.”

No, this wasn’t what she wanted to do. She wanted to know where her child was!

But Cilan was right– there was nothing she could do but wait. She had no idea where to even begin looking, and technically... Alain hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Call me when you get home,” Cilan offered when he heard her shaky tone. “And we’ll talk then.”

Mairin nodded, before realizing that he couldn’t see her. She let out a small sound of agreement, then hung up the phone. She held it in her hands, as if hoping that Faith would just call. Mairin shifted, yet she couldn’t bring herself to leave. Just a few more minutes... just to wait and see if he’d come back, then she’d go home...

No one came.

* * *

 

The next three days were the most miserable days of Mairin’s life.

Every morning it felt like she was waking up from a nightmare– except she was always still in the nightmare. The truth hit her like a slap every morning– her daughter was gone. Her daughter was gone, and she had no idea where she had been taken. She had no way to reach her– and it hurt.

And there was the fact that no one seemed to see her panic as justified– that it was just Alain. That he wouldn’t take her away, that he wouldn’t hurt her. And Mairin agreed– she could never see Alain hurting their child in any form– but that didn’t change the fact that her child was gone. No one understood the fear that was constantly running through her veins, and how it worsen with every moment.

Phone calls to him only gave her the same unavailable message, and calling Alain’s few friends had only resulted in hearing that Alain hadn’t spoken to them in ages. The only remotely good news she had heard was that Alain’s lawyer had heard nothing on Alain’s plans to give up custody. But at the same time this wasn’t good news either– it meant that Alain hadn’t been in contact with anyone recently.

_ “The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable, please try calling again at another time.” _

Mairin wanted to throw her phone against the wall as the dreaded message reached her ears.

“Shut up!” She screamed at her phone, as if somehow this would fix everything.

“Naught...” Chespie rumbled, the Chesnaught wrapping her up in his large arms. Her starter hadn’t left her side these past few days, her only comfort in her panic.

“We’re supposed to have her back tomorrow,” Mairin whispered. “What if he doesn’t bring her back Chespie? What if this is all worse than we’ve been hoping? What if–”

“Ches!” Chespie snapped, scooping her up in his arms to silence her. A pair of black eyes looked down at her, as if telling her not to focus on that. Mairin stared up at her starter, tears in her eyes as he held her.

“I... I know...” Mairin said. “She’s my baby, Chespie, and I don’t know where he took her, no one does. I don’t _ want _ to be afraid, I  _ want _ to believe she’s fine, but... how am I supposed to relax when I don’t know where she is! Is it a crime to want to know where Faith is– is it Chespie?!”

The Chesnaught let out a long sigh, knowing just how little sleep Mairin had been getting. For a moment the young woman reminded him of her ten year old self, and he brought her into a hug. She just needed to rest, and leave tomorrow’s pressures for tomorrow. The grass type took her to her bedroom, setting her down on the bed. Mairin didn’t say anything else, just curling up.

Her sleep was far from peaceful, but she still managed to sleep through most of the night. Perhaps it was simply her exhaustion from the last few days finally catching up to her, or maybe it was because Chespie hadn’t allowed her drown herself in coffee as she attempted to drag herself throughout the day.

She groggily awoke, the chill of forgotten nightmares still lingering around her as her room slid into focus. Like the mornings of the last few days, it took her just a moment to remember why the air felt so thick, why the heaviness in her heart felt like it was dragging her down.

Mairin’s hands clenched around the blanket– today was the day she was suppose to get Faith back.

The redhead quickly threw herself out of bed, not bother to gather up her blanket as it fell to the floor in her haste. She stumbled across the room, her clothes feeling sweaty against her skin, but she could care less. It only took her a few seconds to realize that her phone wasn’t in her room, and she bolted down the stairs.

Alain was suppose to have Faith back to her by noon– as soon as that time finally passed she’d be able to legally conduct a search for her daughter– if he didn’t bring her back. Mairin hoped that it wouldn’t come to that, that Alain would bring back her babygirl from where ever they had ran off to... but the fact of him having no recent contact wasn’t helping her hopes.

“Naught!” Chespie rumbled as he saw her bolting for her phone on the counter. Several blades of grass appeared as the Chesnaught’s eyes started to glow, the Grass Knot seizing the phone before she could. The device was tossed through the air into Chespie’s large hands, which he crossed when Mairin glared at him.

“I need that!” She cried, lunging for her Pokemon– who held the phone up out of reach. He picked her up with his other hand, dragging her to the table and forcing her to sit down. “Chespie, give me my phone right now!”

He ignored her, pressing the phone on top of the cupboards– which was out of reach for Mairin without a chair. Fear and frustration ran through her, her whole focus dedicated to her phone. Chespie grabbed a pot of oatmeal he had clearly made on the stove, messily pouring it into a bowl before handing it to Mairin. The grass type shoved a spoon into her hand, and pointed at the food– which Mairin hadn’t had an appetite for in days.

“Ches!”

_ “Please _ Chespie!” Mairin begged, spoon dropping down onto the table. “Give me my phone, I need to see if Cilan called at all last night, please! I’ll eat later!”

Chespie gave her a glare– they both knew that Cilan wouldn’t call in the middle of the night, it just wasn’t part of his gentleman ways. His eyes shifted to the bowl of oatmeal, then to Mairin, the Chesnaught unmoving.

Mairin hesitated, but knew she wasn’t about to win a fight against Chespie. He could drag her anywhere in the house he wanted– so any attempt to get her phone would be halted. She also noticed that his Pokeball had been stuffed away on top of the cupboards as well– meaning she had no choice but to do what Chespie wanted if she wanted her phone.

She slowly picked up the spoon, dipping it into oatmeal as the Chesnaught watched her with sharp eyes. Without milk or sugar the oatmeal was quite bland, but she didn't care. She just shoveled the mush into her mouth, painfully swallowing each bite, eyes on Chespie. He didn’t shift, only letting out a low growl anytime she paused, watching her as she ate.

Her mouth was dry, not wanting any food as she forced herself to eat. It was quite clear Chespie wasn’t handing over her phone until she did though, and so she made herself eat every last bite.

Chespie’s shoulders noticeably relaxed as she finished, turning away as the spoon clanked against the bowl. Chesnaught fumbled for her phone on top of the cupboards, the small device far from being usable by the giant. He carefully sat it on the table, and Mairin seized it in both hands. She turned it on, looking over the screen– she had two missed calls.

Her eyes widened as she saw the number though.

“Faith!” Mairin cried, hastily throwing herself at the phone. Chespie quickly turned to look at her as her hands flew across the screen. “Faith called!”

“Ches!” Chespie cried eagerly, pressing close to her as she called her daughter’s number. The phone rang– for the first time not going straight to the ‘unavailable’ message. Her knuckles were turning white as she gripped the phone, eyes glued to the screen.

“Mommy?”

Tears stung Mairin’s eyes as she heard the gentle voice of her daughter– an image of her baby girl appearing on screen. Mairin’s breathing became uneven, emotions welling up in her as she took in her daughter. Messy jet black hair, dirt smeared across her face and clothes, and gleaming amber eyes.

“F-faith,” Mairin whispered, tears falling down her face. “Faith!”

Faith blinked. “Are you okay Mommy? Why are you crying?”

For a moment Mairin couldn’t respond, tears of relief welling up in her eyes. The tears were hot and came fast, pouring down her cheeks as she pressed herself up against Chespie. She was talking to Faith, she had found Faith– her baby girl was alright.

“Where have you been Faith?” Mairin whispered. “Where were you honey?”

Faith blinked, shifting. Mairin wiped away a few tears, taking in her daughter’s image. She was sitting in the backseat of a car, the young girl tugging at the seat belt. Kindle, her Fennekin doll, was in her lap. Faith had an uncertain look on her face, biting her lip.

“I was camping Mommy,” Faith said. “Why do you look so sad?”

Camping?

“Camping, honey?” Mairin asked in a weak tone.

Faith nodded happily. “Daddy took me camping! It was so much fun, we slept out under the stars, and there was a campfire, and Daddy told me stories! I couldn’t call you though ‘cause the phone was making funny noises, but I saw a lot of wild Pokemon and–”

She rambled on, talking about every small detail she could remember, and Mairin leaned back in her seat. Camping, Faith had just been camping. She wasn’t in danger, she was safe. A bit dirty, but safe. Her baby was okay, everything was alright...

Why hadn’t Alain told her? How could he let her panic like that?

“Honey?” Mairin asked, speaking as Faith paused to catch her breath. “Is Daddy in the car too?”

As much as she just wanted to listen to her daughter talk about the strangely-shaped stick she found, Mairin knew she needed to talk to Alain.

“He’s driving!” Faith said happily.

“Can you hand the phone to him?” Mairin asked, knowing full well that Alain could hear her from there, but this needed to be face to face.

“Tell her I’m driving,” Came Alain’s quiet voice, causing Mairin to bristle.

“I just did!” Faith said, and Mairin closed her eyes.

“Just give him the phone Faith, no matter what he says,” Mairin muttered, this couldn’t wait another day. She watched the screen as Faith leaned forward, holding out the phone to Alain. Mairin’s view was currently of the ceiling of the car, and she heard Alain take in a sharp breath.

Finally Alain took the phone, giving Mairin a few seconds view of Alain’s face, before the screen went black.

Mairin froze up, thinking he had hung up on her– before she realized he had turned the call from a video call to an audio call– taking the phone off of speaker at the same time. Gritting her teeth she held the phone up to her ear, only the sound of Alain’s heavy breathing filling her ears.

“Where were you?” Mairin snapped, no longer making an effort to keep her voice cheerful since Faith could no longer hear her.

“Camping,” Alain said simply.

“Four nights,” Mairin whispered. “I couldn’t get ahold of either of you for four nights– do you know how worried I was?”

“...It was my week with her, I can take her where I want,” Alain replied.

Her hand tightened on the phone. “You couldn’t have told me what was going on? You couldn’t even have left a message telling me you’d be out of cell range?” Mairin asked bitterly. “You have no idea how worried I was Alain, what was going through my mind–”

“Did you think I was going to do something?” Alain asked in a low tone, and she flinched.

“O-of course not–”

“Do you think that’s the kind of person I am?”

“I never said that–”

“Is that what you think of me now?”

“St-stop!” Mairin cried, fresh tears pooling up in her eyes. “N-no, I don’t think that! I don’t think that Alain! But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared, that doesn’t mean I didn’t worry!” She closed her eyes. “Do you understand how scary it is to suddenly not be able to reach your daughter, Alain– or the person that’s suppose to have her? Do you know how frightening it was to realize I had no idea where she was or what was happening to her?! No, I don’t think of you that way– _ but I was still scared!” _

Silence.

“...Well, she’s fine,” Alain muttered, tone wavering slightly.

Mairin gritted her teeth. “I have nothing against you taking her somewhere– but for Xerneas’ sake please let me know if you’re going somewhere where I can’t get a hold of you–  _ please _ Alain.”

“...Well, you won’t have to worry about that ever again,” Alain said softly, and chills raced through Mairin.

“No,” She snapped. “You’re still not thinking of giving up custody–”

“No, I’m not ‘thinking’ on it– I’ve already decided,” Alain interrupted. “Why else do you think I took this trip with her in the first place, Mairin? I made my choice, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop trying to change my mind when I can’t.”

“No, we can work this out!” Mairin said, rising to her feet. “This– this camping trip proves that! You can make time between your work, you can be the parent she needs you to be, you can–”

“No Mairin, I can’t,” Alain said, voice sounding slightly strained. “Please, just drop this already.”

“I’m not dropping this!” Mairin cried. “I told you we were going to talk about this– and we are!”

Alain was silent for several moments.

“...Meet me at the old bus station on route 14,” Alain finally said. “We can talk there, and you can pick up Faith. That way you don’t have to drive all of the way to Laverre City.”

Mairin pulled back from the phone, surprised. “You’ll talk? For real?”

He was always so abrupt to end topics he didn’t want to talk about– always adamant when he ended things.

Alain hesitated. “I’ll talk, that doesn’t mean I’ll change mind. Me and Faith will be there around eleven– please don’t be late. I... I have to be back at w-work at noon.”

Mairin nodded, forgetting for a moment that he couldn’t see her. But before she could form a verbal reply she heard a click on the other end– Alain hanging up. She sat there for a moment, before pulling the phone away.

“Ches?” Chespie asked, looking down at her.

“F-faith’s okay...” She whispered. “He just took her camping... I’m going to go pick her up in a few hours and... and talk to Alain.”

“Naught,” Chespie let out a growl, tensing.

Mairin shook her head. “I can’t let him drop custody, Chespie, it’d break Faith’s heart. If he’s willing to talk then I’m going to take the opportunity. N-no matter how much it hurts.”

Mairin pushed herself away from the table, only for her phone to start ringing as she stood up. She recognized Cilan’s name, and quickly answered.

“Mairin!” Cilan said as soon as she picked up. “I just got a call from Alain’’s lawyer and–”

“I found Faith,” Mairin said. “Sh-she’s okay, we don’t need to worry.”

Cilan paused, hesitating. “Oh, thank Zekrom– where were they?”

“...Camping,” Mairin muttered. “M-maybe I did over react, but he should have told me–” She stopped herself. Faith was safe, that’s all that mattered. “I’m going to go pick her up s-soon, and me and Alain are going to talk about the whole... dropping custody thing.”

“That’s... actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” Cilan said slowly. “You see, I just got a call from Alain’s lawyer.”

“...Is everything okay?” Mairin asked uncertainly.

“Apparently Alain’s just sent him everything he needed to drop custody,” Cilan said slowly. “Paperwork and... just everything. Just barely– I’m afraid that Alain intends on letting your talk simply turn bitter, he’s already taken the action to drop custody.”

“Just barely...?” Mairin muttered, heart tightening. “That’s impossible– he’s driving. I saw them over the phone, they’re driving through a forest right now!”

“That’s what his lawyer said,” Cilan said. “I just want you to be careful when you talk to him, he may simply be trying to avoid a scene by agreeing.”

Mairin’s heart thumped with anger, but confusion was rushing through her. This wasn’t adding up– there was no way Alain should have been able to sent anything just barely. And even if he did... he’s been up in the mountains for days and busy with work before that– when did he get the time? And was something as big as dropping custody able to go through that quickly?

Just more things to ask Alain when she saw him.

“Cilan, do you think you could be there when I meet Alain?” Mairin asked quietly. “I don’t know if I can face him alone.”

“Of course,” Cilan said. “Just tell me when and where you’ll be meeting and I’ll be sure to be there.”

* * *

 

Despite being a route that came right off of Lumiose City, route 14 was fairly isolated once you got away from the main roads. Mairin’s car was the only one in sight as she drove down the street, looking for the old bus stop she had agreed to meet Alain at. They had met here before, back when they were still on good terms, but it wasn’t until Mairin was half way there that she wished they had agreed to meet elsewhere.

It wasn’t like the place was abandoned, but with Lumiose City only being a ten minute drive away, few people bothered with the bus stop right outside the city. She supposed she could see Alain’s reasoning behind it– one of the few places to meet that was both public and private at the same time.

Mairin barely slowed as she turned a corner, eager to soon have her daughter in her hands once more. Even though the fright of Faith being missing had died down, some part of Mairin was ravenous to have her in her arms again– not quite accepting that she knew she was safe. That combined with her other rushing emotions was starting to build up, and she forced herself to take a deep breath.

She was about two minutes away– she would have Faith back. But she would also speaking face to face with Alain... but Cilan would be there to back her up. Mairin hoped that Alain wouldn’t take it the wrong way that she had brought her lawyer– Cilan was there more as friend support than as a lawyer.

Did it even matter what Alain thought though? This was about his relationship with Faith– about him dropping custody! Nothing else mattered.

Mairin took in a shaky breath as the empty bus station came into view.

Well, mostly empty– Cilan was standing next to his car in the parking lot.

Cilan glanced at her car as she pulled in, giving her a small nod. She parked next to him, barely noticing that she was shaking as she got out of her car. She glanced around at the bus station, there were several empty buildings where buses were stored at night behind the parking lot, and of course there was the bus stop itself. The only sign that this place was still active was the new bus schedule posted on the glass cover to provide shelter from the rain, most of the buses leaving first thing in the morning towards Lumiose.

“Small little place,” Cilan said as she approached.

“Me and Alain use to take one of the buses to here to go to a nature facility down the road– mostly to do research for the professor,” Mairin said softly. “We started using as a meeting place once we realized people really only came here in the morning and evening...”

She trailed off before the memories could fill her mind, hastily blocking out the happy moments that had been spent near and around here. She couldn’t focus on the past, because that was only going to harm her future.

“How are you feeling?” Cilan asked, and Mairin knew that he was not trying to make small talk– he truly wanted to know how she felt.

“Honestly?” Mairin said softly, looking down the road for any sign of Alain’s car. “Afraid. Afraid that I felt the fear of losing a child. Afraid of seeing Alain, afraid of talking to him... and afraid that he really wants to give up custody,” She looked away. “I’m also angry. I’m upset that he took off with her without telling me, that he just left me to panic, and angry that he thinks that leaving his daughter will somehow solve everything!”

“Some people just can’t handle pressure,” Cilan said sadly.

“That’s the thing!” Mairin cried. “Alain is someone that can handle pressure– he’s literally felt the weight of the world on his shoulders– and then he can’t even handle being with his daughter!” Tears stung Mairin’s eyes, and she turned to look at Cilan. “I can’t understand... He loves her so much, Cilan... I see it in his eyes, she’s the light of his world... why would he want to give her up? Why?!”

An arm was laid on her shoulder. “I’m afraid I don’t know the answer to that question. But I do know that if there was someone that could get him to realize just what he’s giving up, it’s going to be you. Just remember that you only know what you see at the moment– but you are no longer part of his personal life. Something may have happened to push him to do this, and perhaps it was simply a rash choice on his part,” The green haired man gave her a small smile. “Do not let this conversation boil over into a bitter disagreement, do not let this become about you. Help him remember how much his daughter means to him.”

Mairin only managed to nod. Would that even work? Alain never listened to her anymore, only her threats. But... but if he was willing to talk, then perhaps he’d at least listen to calm reasoning.

This was Alain, a man of logic. That’s just what she needed to work with.

“Is his car red?” Cilan asked, pulling her from her thoughts.

She looked down the road, and sure enough there was Alain’s small, dinky red car. It sputtered up the road, covered in dust, most likely from the camping trip. Mairin said nothing at first, watching as it slowly pulled into the parking lot.

“Y-yeah,” Mairin muttered. “That’s him...”

Alain parked in the same row as them, though there was only a few rows in this small place, but he was still several spaces down. Mairin’s heart started to race as his car door was thrown open, but she forced herself to stand tall.

Alain dragged himself out of the driver’s seat, not even looking towards her. His steps seemed slow and heavy as he pulled himself towards the back door, slowly opening it. It was as if rocks had been tied to his limbs, every movement looking so laborious. Mairin didn’t allow herself to move though as Alain leaned in to the back of the car.

Mairin’s willpower crumbled as Faith hopped out of the car though, one hand wrapped around Alain’s. A fresh wave of relief crashed over her as she saw her daughter– the reassurance she had gotten from the phone call doubling as she saw her Faith in person. A sob of happiness managed to escape her, and she ran forward.

“Faith!” Mairin cried, nearly stumbling over her own feet as she raced towards her daughter.

“Hi Mommy!” Faith cried happily, Kindle in one hand. She broke free of Alain’s grip, skipping towards her mother. Mairin knelt down, scooping Faith up in her arms before she could even get a good look at her. Faith’s small form was pressed against her, Mairin’s hands wrapped firmly around her, the desperate hug at last soothing Mairin’s panicked emotions.

She had Faith. Faith was safe.

“Oh Faith,” Mairin whispered, pulling back so she could get a proper look at her daughter. Faith’s bright amber eyes were shining happily– and that probably was the only part of her that wasn’t covered in dirt. Her clothes, skin, hair– all caked in earth. Mairin smiled softly, the faint smell of pine sap around her daughter. “You’re safe.”

“Why are you crying again, Mommy?” Faith asked.

Mairin let out a small laugh. “They’re happy tears, Faith, I’m happy to see you.”

Faith frowned. “...You said it isn’t good to make people cry... so is it bad that you’re crying happy tears because of me?”

Mairin brought her back into a hug. “No honey, happy tears are different.”

“Okay!” Faith chirped, and she held up her Fennekin doll– who was covered in dirt as well. “I just have to make sure I don’t make Kindle cry happy tears– because tears are water and water will make her faint!”

“Oh really?” Mairin asked with a small smile.

“Yep!” Faith said with a nod. “Daddy says that Pokemon battles are over when a Pokemon faints, and he also said that water beats fire– so I can’t let Kindle cry.”

Mairin’s smile faded away all at once– the mention of ‘Daddy’ reminding Mairin just why she came here. She took in a deep sigh, then set Faith on the ground.

“Go wait with Cilan, okay?” Mairin said softly. “I’m going to talk with Daddy.”

Faith frowned. “But my backpack is still in Daddy’s car–”

“You can get it later,” Mairin said, pushing Faith towards Cilan. “We’ll be right back.”

“Okay...” Faith said, looking back at Alain uncertainty. He was staring at Faith, expression unfocused and unreadable. He blinked as Faith headed towards Cilan, who had been lingering back towards the cars. He stepped forward, holding out a hand as Faith stumbled over to him, still glancing back at her parents as if she could sense the building tension.

Mairin shook her head– who was she kidding? She knew that Faith was well aware of their arguments, there was no hiding it.

Mairin looked up at Alain, forcing herself to step towards him. Alain wasn’t looking at her– he was staring out at Faith with desperate eyes. Mairin’s eyes narrowed, it was the same gaze she saw on the day he had first said he was going to give up custody– a look of fear.

“Alain,” Mairin said, pausing about ten feet away from him. He flinched, looking down at her. Like when they were younger, he towered above her. His blue eyes were like ice– cold, and looked as if the smallest movement could make them shatter. Unlike Faith, Alain looked a bit neater for someone that had just gotten back from camping, only a few flecks of dirt on his shoes and pants.

“H-hello...” He whispered back. “Mairin.”

“You said you’d talk,” Mairin said. “And I’m going to hold you to that. No cutting me off– and the same goes for me. This is going to stay civil, no yelling or anything. Do you think we can manage that for once?”

“...Yes,” Alain said after a moment, unable to look her in the eye.

“Good,” Mairin said, and she hesitated. “Did you mention to Faith... what you planned on doing?”

“No.”

Mairin stiffened– he had been planning on letting her explain everything to Faith?! Mairin closed her eyes before the anger could get the best of her– she wasn’t going to let Alain drop custody, no one would have to explain anything to her.

“L-let’s go somewhere a bit more private, okay?” Mairin said in a low tone, glancing back at Faith. Alain opened his mouth to protest, but Mairin was already making her way towards the buildings. Alain hesitated, before stumbling after her.

Mairin didn’t say anything to him, going past the bus stop and towards the buildings in the back. She knew that they probably shouldn’t be back here, since these were basically the garage for the buses, but there shouldn’t be anyone in there until tonight. Alain hesitated again, looking as if he wanted to say something, but Mairin walked right into the empty cement building.

Alain closed his eyes, but followed after her.

They were now out of ear shot of Faith and Cilan– giving them the privacy they had needed. Mairin turned to face him, frowning as she noticed that he was shaking. Alain’s blue eyes were scanning around the room, looking everywhere but at her.

“Look at me,” Mairin snapped, a bit more harshly than she intended.

Alain closed his eyes, before focusing on her. Mairin held his gaze for a moment, wishing that she hadn’t asked him to look at her. Her knees felt weak under his glare, and for a moment she thought her sense of balance would leave her. She closed her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts on what to say.

“...I’m sorry!” Alain blurted out before she could say a word.

Mairin blinked in surprise, looking up at him with a startled expression. “H-huh–?”

He took in a deep breath. “For... running off with Faith. That I didn’t tell you, I– I should’ve and–”

“Sh-she’s safe,” Mairin whispered after a moment. “That’s all that matters.”

“...It still wasn’t right of me,” Alain said, staring down at his feet. “So I’m sorry, for making you worry. I’m sorry... for everything else as well. I never wanted to hurt you.”

_ A bit late for that. _ Mairin thought bitterly, but she pushed those feelings away. “As... as long as you can keep things well with Faith, then... then I’ll forgive you.”

Alain closed his eyes again, taking in another deep breath. “She’ll be better off without me.”

Mairin gritted her teeth, some part of her had been hoping that Alain had changed his mind over these last few days... but of course not. Cilan had told her that he had already taken action to drop custody, she should have expected not to get far into this conversation without them being on opposite sides.

“No,” Mairin said, sitting up straighter. “She won’t be. She needs a father figure– no– she needs the one she  _ knows _ as father in her life.”

Alain took in a shaking breath, looking away. “Mairin, I told you that we’d talk– but I also told you that I wouldn’t change my mind about this. I am going to give up custody.”

Mairin glared up at him. “If you’re so adamant about this then why did you even want to talk? Why didn’t you just cut this off like you always do with everything else?”

There was a tremble in Alain’s limbs. “Because I want you to understand Mairin– I have to give up custody,” He looked down at her, blue eyes blazing. “Do you... think this is fair to her? To be passed from house to house? To see her parents argue and endlessly fight– about her?” 

“And how will she feel, Alain?” Mairin asked. “When she learns that her father doesn’t want her?”

Alain stiffened. “That’s not why–!”

“How else will she take it, Alain?” Mairin asked in a low tone, taking a step towards him. “How will she feel when she’s older, and actually understands every part of our situation? What message do you think you’re going to be sending to her by leaving her?”

“Mairin, I simply do not have the time–”

“Then explain this week!” Mairin screamed at him. “You took her camping– that proves that you are able to have time for her! N-no, maybe you can’t do that all of the time, but it is possible! We... we could rework the custody agreement, have it so we can find better times for you to take her and... and...”

“I was only able to get that time off because it would be the last time,” Alain said quietly, turning away from her. “It can’t happen in the future– it  _ won’t _ happen. You said you didn’t want to turn this into fight Mairin, so please just drop the topic here. I can’t take care of Faith anymore... I  _ can’t _ ...”

Mairin turned away from him. “I just don’t understand– I know you love her, Alain– I _ know _ you do _! _ Why do you want to do this, why do you just want to drop everything?! Do you understand what that means– you’d have no right to see her! You’d never see her again Alain! Is that what you want, to be cut off from your daughter?!”

He took in a sharp breath. “I... I never said that...”

She stayed facing the cement wall. “Then why Alain? Why do you act like you care– but then put so much effort into doing the opposite!”

Silence.

Mairin’s jaw was hurting as she ground her teeth together. Were words too much for him now? He couldn’t even answer– because he didn’t have one. He was being a coward, running away from the responsibility that should have been both of theirs. She took in a shaking breath, then turned to face Alain once more.

Mairin froze as she realized he was only a few steps away from her.

She jumped back in surprise, smacking her back against the cement wall. She hadn’t heard him approach, and seeing the large gap between them suddenly closed had startled her.

“A-alain?” She asked, not quite sure of how to react. He was staring now at her, expression unreadable. He didn’t reply, just watching her. His gaze shifted after a moment, a look of hesitancy on his face.

Then he closed the space between them.

Mairin stiffened up as Alain’s hands grabbed her shoulders, pushing back against the wall. His head came in close, pressing his lips against hers before she could even let out a gasp of surprise. 

Mairin’s eyes widened at the sudden kiss, a pulse of anger running through her as their lips met. She tried to pull away from him, but there was no where for her to go. He was pressed up against her, kissing her with almost a desperation.

Her body betrayed her– the curve of his lips all to familiar to her. Her muscles instinctively relaxed as he held her, and she found her eyes sliding shut as she leaned into the kiss. The anger rushing through Mairin’s mind was lost in seconds, buried in a wave of forgotten feelings rising up in her. It was all too familiar, it felt all too right, and her desire to fight melted away. She wrapped her arms around him, and his hands went to her back, pulling her in close.

He had held her this way many times, and kissed her with such passion before. Her mind was humming, caught up in a familiar moment that should have only been left in their memories. One hand was tangled into her hair, the other staying on her back. Mairin’s arms were around her neck, lips locked together in what should have been a forgotten kiss.

It was a blur for her to realize what was happening, for herself to push through the memories and into reality. But once it hit just what she was doing, Mairin’s eyes popped open. She was still for a moment, trying to comprehend just what was happening.

And then all at once her anger returned, hot and fiery. Her body tensed, and she tried to pull back. She pressed her arms against Alain’s chest, shoving him away with all of her might, letting her anger fuel her.

She knew that she wasn’t as strong as him, but her efforts had been enough, and he stumbled away. Both let out a gasp for air as their lips broke apart, the kiss shattered. Mairin braced herself against the wall, face burning as she tried to keep her balance.

He had... Alain just had...

“Wh-wha–” Her voice was shaking, and she wasn’t sure if it was from weakness or anger. “What was  _ that?!” _

She spat out the words, hands closing into fists. He had just... she had just allowed him too...

Alain was staring at her with wide eyes. “I...”

His voice trailed off, not even able to get one word from him. She could hear the blood roaring in her head, the anger eating away at her. Not just a rage meant for Alain– but at herself as well. She had just let him _ kiss _ her– she hadn’t even put up a fight at first! He had  _ dared _ to kiss her, after everything that had happened between them, after everything that had been done!

“H-how could you?!” Mairin spat– how could he do this to her!? Force these emotions to rise again, the ones she had been trying to keep buried for so long. Her hands rose to her face, and she realized she was crying.

“I’m sorry...” Alain whispered, his voice sounding weak. “I d-didn’t mean...”

Mairin’s eyes pressed shut, pain running through her. Used. She felt used. He had just kissed because he could. There was a sticky feeling in her heart– she felt betrayed. Both by herself and by Alain. Betrayed by herself because she thought she was stronger than this, because she hadn’t even fought.

But most of all by Alain– because she had believed that even after all they had been through, that he would still respect her.

“M-maybe you are right,” Mairin said, tears falling from her eyes. “Maybe it would be best if you weren’t in our lives.”

“Mairin, I didn’t mean to–!”

“Shut up!” Mairin screamed, and she stormed forward, eyes locked on the exit. He reached out for her as she went by, and she slapped his hand away. He pulled back, staring at her as she bolted away.

Her vision was a blurry mess as she stepped back outside, but she didn’t slow as she raced forward, surprisingly not even stumbling as she hurried away from Alain. Her lips were tingling, skin burning at where he had touched her. She cursed at herself, hating the way her mind was humming as if this were right, as if she had wanted this.

“Mairin,” Cilan looked up towards her as she headed into the parking lot. “How did it go–” He fell silent as soon as he saw the tears on her face, and Mairin looked towards him helplessly. He was holding Faith’s hand, his expression grim as he watched Mairin’s shaking form.

“Mairin, wait!” Alain called from behind her, and she shivered. “Mairin, I–”

_ “Stay away from me!”  _ The words were torn from her throat as she whipped around to face him, making Alain stop right in his tracks. He was perhaps ten paces behind her– which was too close. Mairin took a stumbling step back, chills running down her back.

All coldness in Alain’s eyes were gone, only a look of shattered sorrow remained. “I’m... I’m sorry, I...”

“Stay away!” Mairin screamed as he took another step closer. “Or I’ll... I’ll report you for harassment!” Alain paused, and Mairin turned her back on him. “J-just stay away!”

“Mom?” Faith asked in a small voice, and Cilan looked tense. He flashed narrowed eyes in the direction of Alain, swiftly making his way towards Mairin. She stumbled towards them, only wanting to have her daughter in her arms.

Faith could clearly tell that something had happened, looking back and forth between her parents with confusion. Mairin didn’t give her a chance to ask, simply kneeling down and wrapping her arms around Faith– simply wanted some form of comfort. Faith didn’t return the embrace, just staring up at the tears in Mairin’s eyes, before peering over Mairin’s shoulder at Alain.

He hadn’t come closer, simply staring at them.

“Mairin, what happened?” Cilan asked in a low tone. Mairin pulled back, pushing herself to her feet, Faith’s hand in her own.

“...Nothing,” Mairin said, closing her eyes, though she knew that Cilan could tell that she was lying. “I’m– I’m just ready to leave. Come on Faith, it’s time to go.”

“W-wait–!” Faith said, pulling against Mairin as she started towards the car, a shaking hand searching her purse for her keys.

“Not now,” Mairin muttered, tears stinging her eyes. There were too many emotions running through her, she just needed to get away from here–

“My backpack!” Faith said, yanking her hand out of Mairin’s. With Kindle still clutched in her hand she raced towards Alain. “Daddy– my backpack is still in your car!”

Her words seemed to snap Alain out of a trance, blinking as he realized Faith was speaking to him. He started down at his daughter for a moment, blue eyes looking wide and uncertain. His eyes flickered up towards Mairin for a moment, before turning his head away.

“Let’s go get it then,” Alain said in a quiet voice, pulling his keys out of his pocket.

Cilan placed a hand on Mairin’s shoulder, making her jump. “Mairin, what did he do?”

She didn’t take her eyes off of Alain and Faith, watching as they approached his car. Her stomach was twisting, the memory of what had just happened still fresh in her mind. Alain pulled out Faith’s pink backpack, setting in on the ground as he shut the door. Faith reached forward to take it– but Alain grabbed her before she could do so.

Mairin jumped at the action– only to find that Alain had scooped Faith up into a crushing hug. The young girl let out a yip of surprise at the action, having dropped her Fennekin plush upon being lifted up into the air. She was pressed against Alain’s chest, the man holding his daughter close.

“I love you,” He told Faith in a fierce tone, eyes pressed shut. “Don’t you ever forget that– I love you with all my heart.”

“I know that, Daddy,” Faith said, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you too.”

Alain took in a shaking breath, and for a moment the anger in Mairin’s heart retreated– this was the last time he’d ever see his daughter.

But it was a choice he had made.

“I love you, I love you, _ I love you,” _ He repeated the words over and over, the conviction unmistakable in his voice. Then he opened his eyes– his piercing blue gaze staring straight at Mairin. “No matter what anyone tells you, no matter what you think–  _ I love you.” _

Mairin bristled– did he think she’d tell Faith that he didn’t care for her? The fading anger returned all at once, sharp and prickly. Alain turned his gaze back to Faith, giving her one last embrace.

Then he knelt down and sat her on the ground, allowing her to retrieve her backpack and Fennekin toy. She slipped the backpack over her shoulders, and held Kindle in her arms. She looked up at Alain, tilting her head in confusion.

“Are those happy tears in your eyes, Daddy?” She asked in a concerned voice.

Alain’s frame was shaking, but his voice was even as he placed his hands on Faith’s shoulders. “It doesn’t matter Faith. All that matters is you know I love you– okay? Everything’s going to be okay, you just need to go with your mother, alright?”

Faith blinked– not sure of what to make of these words, but she nodded.

“Okay Daddy,” She said, before leaning forward and giving him a small kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you next month, Daddy!”

Alain swallowed hard and Faith turned away, skipping back towards Mairin.

“Goodbye Faith,” He said softly, and Mairin reached out to take Faith’s hand.

“Come on,” Mairin said, turning away and leading Faith towards the car. The girl didn’t reply, holding Kindle up as if the Fennekin toy was flying. No other words were said between anyone as Mairin placed Faith in the backseat, buckling her in. She stared at her daughter for a moment, before shutting the door.

“Mairin, what happened?” Cilan asked once again, placing a hand on the driver’s door so she couldn’t open it. She closed her eyes– of course he’d be concerned after she threatened Alain with reporting him.

She glanced back at Alain– he was standing next to his car, looking at them. She turned her head away.

“N-nothing serious...” She muttered. “I– I just want to go home, please.”

Cilan pulled his hand away, nodding. “Of course. Call me when you can.”

Mairin only managed a nod, before opening the door and sliding into her car. She took in a shaking breath as she sat behind the steering wheel, staring straight ahead.

It was over.

After the divorce she thought she’d never say that with Alain again– but it was truly over. He had dropped custody, and she hadn’t stopped him. As soon as she drove away he’d no longer play any role in her life.

Not as a friend that would protect her, not as a husband to love, and not even as a father for her daughter.

She would probably never see him again.

A part of her was thrilled at this thought– the part of her was burning with anger from the kiss. The part of her that worked so hard to keep her feelings buried, the part of her that only wanted the best for her daughter.

But another side of her made her tremble, aware that a constant figure in her life was going to be gone forever– even if it was a person who had done nothing but weigh her down for so long.

This was for the best.

Mairin started the car, the engine roaring to life. Faith was chattering away in the back, caught up in some game with her Fennekin plush. Mairin adjusted the mirror, flinching as she caught a glimpse of black. She put the car into drive, but her foot remained on the brake.

She didn’t want to– but she looked back at Alain.

He was still watching her, expression unreadable as he waited for her to drive away. Even though so much had changed over the years, it was amazing how little he had changed. His eyes were still a burning blue, skin pale and smooth. His hair blew in the wind, his gaze sharp and unchanging as their eyes met.

Mairin whipped her head away from his– forcing herself to drive away.

* * *

 

“Mommy, can I see if one of my friends can play?” Faith asked shortly after they got home.

“After we unpack your backpack,” Mairin said simply, even though she was already in the process of emptying the bag. She had already taken the dirty clothes to the laundry room, and was currently working on organizing all the other items that had been stuffed into the backpack.

Simply anything to keep her mind from wandering.

“Okay,” Faith said excitedly, a small smile appearing on her face.

Mairin smiled back, even though she felt far from happy. She handed Faith a few toys she had gotten from the backpack. “Why don’t you go put these away?”

“Sure thing!” Faith chirped, accepting the toys without complaint knowing that she had a promise of playing with friends. She darted off to her toy bins in the corner of her room, dropping each toy into the containers.

There wasn’t much left in the backpack after that, and Mairin sighed. She’d have to find something else to take her mind off of everything, especially if Faith was going to play with a friend. She folded up a skirt that looked clean enough, and then looked into the nearly empty bag.

She frowned as she noticed an envelope at the bottom of the backpack.

She reached in, pulling out the paper uncertainly. The envelope was older, it’s sides wrinkled and writing smeared. It clearly had been open and resealed several times, currently a piece of neatly placed tape holding it down. In the corner was her address and marks that suggested someone had once placed stamps on it– before taking it off. She turned it over once, frowning even more.

“Faith, what’s this?” She asked, holding up the envelope to her daughter.

“Huh?” Faith blinked, peering at the paper. “Oh yeah! Daddy said to give that to you! I forgot, so it’s a good thing you found it,” She rocked back and forth on her heels. “Can I go see if a friend can play now? I put all the toys away.”

Mairin’s hand tightened around the envelope, and it took her a moment to realize Faith had asked her a question.

“Y-yes,” Mairin said. “Call them first– I don’t want you going out front without me, okay?”

“Sure thing Mommy!” Faith said, racing out of the room without another word. Mairin started down at the envelope in her head, closing her eyes.

It was over– everything was over. She should just throw it away, and spare herself of what pain or memories would surely come from whatever was in the envelope.

But instead Mairin found herself sitting down on Faith’s bed, ripping open the envelope without a second thought. She barely realized her fingers were shaking as she reached into the envelope, pulling out the papers waiting inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left to go, which will be from Alain's POV.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to split Alain's POV into two chapters, so there will be one more after this one. I have already completed it, so it should be uploaded soon.

_ Beep! Beep! Beep! _

Alain groaned as his alarm reached his ears, twisting over in bed as he reached out for his phone. He fumbled with the device for a moment, thumb tapping against the screen as he tried to shut off the alarm. The blaring died down all at once, and he let out a sigh of relief, sagging back in his bed.

His room was dark, save for the light coming from his phone. He stared up at his ceiling for a moment in silence, exhaustion clinging to his whole form. He didn’t want to move, laying here in this brick of a bed sounded so appealing at the moment, and he felt his eyes sliding shut.

No! What was he doing?! His eyes popped back open, just as his phone slipped into sleep mode, leaving the room completely in the dark. As appealing as the darkness was, he forced himself to sit up, and he dragged himself out of his bed. He didn’t even have to take a step to be at the wall, flipping the lightswitch on. He squinted his eyes at the sudden brightness, groaning as he peered around the tiny room.

“G’morning...” He muttered aloud as he stretched, before blinking– there was no one else here. He closed his eyes– he needed to stop doing that.

Alain gritted his teeth, and simply got dressed for the day. He didn’t care that the outfit was one that he had plucked off of the ground, or that there was wrinkles creased all across the fabric. He simply slipped it on, grabbing his phone off of his lamp table, peering at the time.

4:34 am.

Perfect, he had time to grab breakfast today.

He let out a yawn as he headed out into the hallway, towards the kitchen. He passed two other rooms on his way– his office and Faith’s room. Despite him basically spending all of his time in this dreary apartment, his bedroom the smallest room in the house. He wasn’t even sure if it was meant to be a bedroom, but that’s what he used it as. He was usually in his office, so that’s where he wanted the most space, and there was no way he’d stick Faith in what was probably supposed to be a large closet, even if she was only here once a month.

Alain let out a yawn, opening the fridge, popping open a container of Oran berries. He stuck one in his mouth, wondering if he even had something decent to eat in here. The fridge was a bare place at the moment, he hadn’t been out shopping in ages... He’d need to do that before Faith would be over...

Alain’s eyes widened realization– Faith.

He cursed to himself, swiftly stuffing the berries back into the fridge. He darting out of the kitchen and into his untouched living space, snatching a calendar off of the wall. He probably could have used the phone in his pocket, but he was too tired to recall that at the moment. He flipped to June, staring down at the calendar.

He was suppose to have her this week.

“Oh no...” He muttered, letting the calendar fall to the floor. “How could I have forgotten, how could I have...”

Well, he hadn’t forgotten per se, he knew he was suppose to have her around this time, but it had slipped his mind that it was summer now– which meant he was going to have her the whole week. This week.

“Gah!” Alain cried, sinking down onto the sagging couch. What was he supposed to do– he wasn’t ready for Faith! Mairin would have her here right at noon like always, and there was no way he’d be able to get any time to go buy anything, not on this short of time! He grabbed his phone, staring at it for a moment– he’d still have to ask for some time to go shopping. There was no way there would be enough food between him and Faith for a week, even if he stuck to his usual plan of a only meal or so a day.

But before he could even think of what he could do, his phone started ringing.

He stared down at the device, shivers running up his back when he saw the number on the screen. He hesitated for only a moment, before pressing ‘answer’. He swiftly changed the call from a video to an audio one– not wanting to see  _ his _ face at the moment.

“Hello?” Alain said slowly, heart thumping.

“We need you online, now,” A deep voice said from the other line.

Alain gritted his teeth, but he wasn’t surprised. “Couldn’t wait twenty minutes?”

“Is there a problem?” The voice asked, tone unchanging, yet Alain stiffened up.

“N-no sir,” Alain hastily said, rising to his feet. “I’ll be on right away.”

“Good,” The voice said, before hanging up.

Alain held his phone in his hand for a moment, of course they needed him right now. Technically he wasn’t supposed to be on until 5:00, but since when did he have a true schedule? He headed out of the living area and back into the hallway, any attempts for breakfast being left behind in the kitchen.

He approached his office without much thought, opening the door as he entered, locking it behind him out of habit. Like most of his apartment, the floor was littered, causing him to have to watch his feet if he didn’t want to step on an empty plate or a half built gadget. He didn’t bother to turn on the light, using his phone to guide him to the computer.

He booted up the computer as he sat, grabbing one of several an energy drinks on his desk. He popped open the can, guzzling the warm liquid without much care for the taste. He paused to catch his breath, typing in his password at the same time, before finishing off his drink. He knew the effects wouldn’t kick in right away, but yet he already started to feel more alert as he tossed the empty can over his shoulder, turning to face the computer. The light of the screen was harsh against his eyes, and he sat up as he prepared for what he called ‘work’.

As soon as he was logged in he had an incoming video call, which he opened without hesitation, not wanting to keep  _ him _ waiting for another second. He closed his eyes as he was connected to his caller, having no guesses to who would be on the screen. When he opened his eyes he found himself looking at the image of a tall man, a pair of harsh blue eyes watching him.

“Good morning,” The man said in a what seemed to be a warm tone, yet Alain shivered. “It is wonderful that you were able to join us early today.”

Twenty minutes early wasn’t the worse they had asked of him before– they had called him in before when he was running on only an hour a sleep. But still it was twenty minutes of alone time that he had lost.

“Of course, sir,” Alain replied, voice feeling almost robotic. He wanted to turn away from this man, but Alain forced his gaze to remain on the screen, even as a pulse of anger formed in him.

“I simply wish to discuss with you the current project you are working on,” The man said, staring down haughtily at his fingers in a way that seemed to say he had more important things to attend to. “I trust you’re on schedule?”

Alain’s stomach twisted. “I– I’m a day behind, s-sir.”

“Is that so?” In no way the voice sounded threatening, but yet Alain flinched. “And why is that, Alain?”

“Programming error,” Alain said quietly. “It was affecting the whole system, and I had to take a few steps back to fix it. It is fixed now, I just need to–”

“Tell me Alain, was this programming ‘error’ intentional?” The man asked, interrupting Alain. “I am aware that you are not fond of my goals, and I would not be surprised if you were attempting to delay–”

“No sir!” Alain cried, eyes widening. “It was an accident, nothing more!”

The man’s expression didn’t change. “I’m afraid you have no evidence of that however, and I cannot be allowing anything to slip by. You understand, correct?”

A fear had taken hold of Alain, his breath getting caught in his throat as he forced himself to breathe. “S-sir... I– you– you know I wouldn’t d-do anything that could bring them harm, you know I–”

“We agreed to flawless work,” The man said, cutting Alain off. “There will be no debating this.”

Alain’s heart was racing, hands curling into fists as fear and rage rushed through him, but yet he didn’t say another word. He stared straight ahead at the screen, not letting his face show any trace of emotion– he knew that arguing this would only get them hurt more, which was the last thing he wanted. The only sign that something other than a void was running through his mind was his rapid blinking.

“However– behind on your assignment or not– I still want someone to check on its progress. I will be sending Bryony to your place, she’ll be there at 11:00 so she may see it in person. Perhaps you can use the time before that to actually get some work done so no more of these ‘delays’ happen.”

Alain’s head was spinning, trying to keep his mind from slipping into a panic. “S-someone over here? Today? That won’t be possible, s-sir.”

“I don’t recall me giving you a say in the matter,” The voice said firmly.

Alain hesitated. “It is... it’s my week to have Faith, sir,” He said in a quiet voice. “She’ll be over here at noon, and I d-don’t have control over that.”

On screen a pair of blue eyes narrowed. “Week?”

Alain gulped. “It’s the summer months... sir. I informed you that I get her for a w-week then. I can’t change anything– you don’t want anything to look suspicious to outsiders. Faith is going to be here at noon– having someone here at eleven would be risky for your operation, sir.”

Alain could feel sweat forming on his skin, watching as the man regarded him with suspicious eyes. The man pulled a Holo Caster out of his pocket, the holographic screen flaring to life as he scanned the data he had just pulled up on it. His lips pressed together.

“It seems you aren’t lying,” The man said at last, and Alain let out a sigh of relief. “But it is still an inconvenience for me, Alain.”

Alain lowered his gaze. “M-mairin would have been suspicious if I hadn’t pressed for more custody at the time. I had to do it.”

“No, I’m quite sure you were more than happy to make sure you’d have more time with the girl,” The man said. “As you said yourself, there is not much that can be done without raising suspicions,” His eyes locked on Alain’s. “We shall deal with this issue at another time. You shall continue with your work as usual, and make sure the girl does not become a nuisance.”

“I just can’t leave her alone–” Alain began, but a raised hand made him fall silent.

“Deal with this yourself– or else I will,” The man said in a low tone, and Alain tensed.

“...J-just make sure Bryony is out of here before noon,” Alain said at last, before hesitating. He looked up at the man, clearly not eager to press him. “I... I also need a chance to go buy food as well.”

“I have a package you’ll need to pick up tomorrow– you may go then,” The man said. “Now, unless you actually have a matter of importance to discuss, you shall prepare yourself Bryony’s visit. Understood?”

Alain closed his eyes. “Understood, Lysandre, sir.”

* * *

 

“Absolutely no girls anywhere near here while Faith is here– is that clear?” Mairin growled as soon as Faith had gone off to her bedroom. Alain tightened his grip on the doorknob he was clutching– had she seen Bryony? But she had left ten minutes ago, they shouldn’t have crossed paths–

Unless she had waited for Mairin to show up before leaving.

Alain shifted, forcing himself to look down into the gaze of his ex-wife. It was so strange to see her standing in his apartment, when she usually just dropped off Faith without even coming in. Mairin was watching him with sharp eyes, her amber gaze void of the happiness she was known for. She was simply glowering at him, waiting for a response.

Alain felt sick, not even wanting to imagine what was going through her mind. “I know what you’re thinking, but she wasn’t my–”  
  
“Do you think I care Alain?” Mairin snapped. “It may have taken me a few months, but I’ve moved on past you a long time ago. I don’t care what you do and who you do it with– just not near my daughter.”

Something sharp formed inside of Alain’s heart, and for a moment he struggled to breathe. It was a fight between himself– a fight not to let anything show around her. “Our daughter. Faither is our daughter.”

The last person he could truly call family. His last connection to the innocence of this world.

His last connection to Mairin.

“Is that so?” Mairin asked, crossing her arms. “Then why was I informed on my way here that you don’t spend anytime with her while she’s here?”

Alain pulled back at these words– no, this wasn’t what he needed right now! Of all the days to bring this up why now? Why hadn’t Faith told Mairin about this another time– or even earlier! This was the worst time to discuss this– when he had a whole week ahead of staying distanced from Faith while she was here!

“You know I have work–” Alain quietly said. This was the truth, he had work. He had his orders that even this week would be dedicated to work. He wanted to be with Faith, he did, but that’d be too much of a risk– it’d put too many people in danger–

“On the weekends?” Mairin asked, her voice cracking, and it took every ounce of Alain’s willpower not to flinch. “You said you didn’t work on the weekends– that’s why you wanted her then in the first place. Did you lie then, or are you lying now?”

He closed his eyes, fists tightening– this wasn’t his fault! He didn’t want to do this to Faith, but he had no choice! “I don’t have control over my schedule–”

“You work at home for Yveltal’s sake!” Mairin’s voice rose, filling his home. His insides shriveled up, hating the pain and distress on her face. Hating the hurt in her eyes. Hating the frustration as she moved towards an unreachable goal. “Is it too much to ask you to spend time with your daughter? She’s going to be spending a whole week here this time– and a week here these next two months! Do you think I want her alone in this filthy apartment? She’s here to see her father– so you better make sure that happens!”

Her reasoning quickly cornered his– because she was right. Because he should be with his little girl, supporting her as a father should. Alain’s feet shuffled, trying to find something to say. His eyes briefly met Mairin’s glaring amber ones, and he turned his gaze away.

“I try Mairin, I swear I do–” He began, but her jaws tightened, and he fell silent.

“Then try harder– because if she’s not going to spend time with her dad then I don’t want her in this part of town,” She raised her gaze, and Alain’s hands tightened. He hated seeing her this way, full of bitterness and sorrow. “I’m not afraid to try to take full custody, Alain, and you know I’d win in court. If you want Faith to stay in your life then you better earn that right and show that you care.”

It took Alain a moment to realize what she had just said.

His heart skipped a beat, eyes widening. “You wouldn’t do that.”

She wouldn’t take full custody of Faith– Mairin would never take his own daughter from him!

Mairin took in a deep breath. “I would if it’s best for Faith,” She said, and hearing the coldness in her voice was all Alain needed to hear to know she wasn’t lying. “So if I come by to pick her up at the end of this week, and I hear that you’ve just been cowering away in your office all day things are going to change, Alain. Play with her. Spend time with her. Take her somewhere– be her father!”

Alain gritted his teeth– he was trying! Why couldn’t she realize that!

His head was spinning, and it took all of his willpower to focus on Mairin. He hated it when she did this, when she’d push him to the point where he’d have no choice but to give her an answer. Most people never pressed him once he closed up, thinking that nothing could get to him.

But Mairin knew him.

“Do you think I’d take her out and about in this part of town?” Alain asked in a low tone– it was no secret that he lived in the worst part of Laverre City.

“You have a car,” Mairin snapped back. “And you’re the one that decided to live here.”

No– he didn’t decide to live here! He hadn’t been given a choice! He hadn’t wanted this, he hadn’t wanted this for anyone–

But before he could say another word Alain heard Faith’s bedroom door opening, and he quickly fail silent. He glanced at Mairin, who had noticeably relaxed as well. This was one thing they agreed on, not fighting in front of Faith. Alain shifted his gaze to the hallway, watching as their daughter peered out at them.

“Daddy, can I play with Charizard?” Faith asked quietly.

Alain’s mouth went dry as Faith mentioned Charizard– and the thoughts he had been pushing from his mind forced their way to the surface. He was suppose to be keeping her safe– not messing up. He had failed, he had fallen behind. They had her, and he had messed up. He had failed Charizard, they were going to hurt her– 

Alain flinched, realizing that Faith was waiting for an answer. “Ch-charizard... she’s not h-here right now sweetie... I’m sorry...”

No, she was in  _ his _ filthy hands, beyond Alain’s reach. Charizard was going to be hurt because of his failures– and he had tried to push that from his mind. Alain felt sick with himself, he had been trying to bury the guilt he deserved...

Alain forced himself to walk forward, kneeling down as he turned his focus towards Faith. There was nothing he could do by focusing on what was outside of his control...

There was nothing he could do for his best friend.

He held out his hands towards Faith. “How about we go make some lunch though? You still like grilled cheese?”

“I like eggs and toast sandwiches,” Faith said after a moment of thought. “And Kindle likes the toast extra burnt.”

Faith held up her beloved Fennekin doll happily, and Alain managed a pained smile. He didn’t know if he even had eggs, but he would find something for her to eat until he could go out and buy food tomorrow. Alain supposed he could manage a day without food, that way Faith wouldn’t be hungry... He reached out, scooping her up. He held her for a moment, seeking a comfort he hadn’t felt in a long time. He still had Faith even though he had lost everything else, everything was going to be fine...

He’d work harder. He’d make sure he stayed on top of everything. He wouldn’t mess up again. They wouldn’t hurt Charizard again.

“...You dropped her off,” He let his voice turn cold as he spoke to Mairin– he couldn’t let anything show. “You can leave now.”

Yes, she needed to leave. He was on limited time.

Time that his Pokemon depended on.

Mairin hesitated, and Alain could tell that she wanted to say goodbye to Faith. He didn’t let go of his daughter however, simply watching Mairin. She took in a sharp breath, whole body stiff as she approached Alain and Faith.

His heart raced as he watched her embrace Faith, Mairin’s arm brushing against his shoulder as she hugged Faith.

It took all of Alain’s willpower not to reach out for the one he had once called his wife. To touch her soft hair, or to hold her like he once had. Instead he just watched her as she planted a kiss on Faith’s forehead, saying goodbye.

He had once kissed her, he had once held her like that.

Alain closed her eyes– forcing the memories to the back of his mind. That would never happen again– this was for the best. As long as she was distanced from him she couldn’t get hurt. That had been the deal– his loyalty for their safety. Following through on whatever was asked of him.

Lying to her. Pushing her away.

Leaving her.

He had done it all, just as he had been told to. It had hurt, but it kept them away from him, from the life he was being forced to lead.

It was better this way.

But that didn’t change the fact that it hurt when Mairin didn’t even offer him a goodbye.

* * *

 

“Mairin certainly has matured over the years, hasn’t she?”

Alain stiffened as he sat down in his office– having left Faith in her room with her lunch. He had been sure he had closed out any video messages when Mairin had arrived, but sure enough on screen was the last person he wanted to see.

“...Were you listening in on us?” Alain asked, careful to keep his voice even. He knew his apartment was monitored– but he had just assumed it was some grunt watching making sure he didn’t plan mutiny.

Which he wouldn’t– as long as they had his Pokemon.

Lysandre didn’t answer his question, simply continuing on as if Alain hadn’t spoken. “I have been thinking on what she said, it seems she has provided the perfect solution to our problem, don’t you agree Alain?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re referring to, sir,” Alain replied without thinking– it was one of the few ways he could respond without losing himself to anger.

Anger at the fact that he had been so blind.

Alain gritted his teeth as he turned his back to the computer, gathering scattered papers around his office as the memories rose. He had believed that they had been safe– out of the strangling grasp of Flare. He had thought that everything was over after the Kalos Crisis... that he could finally move on in life, that he could be happy.

He should have known better– should have known just how patient and cunning his foes had been. How they’d wait in the shadows to bring their plans into fruition. He should have never assumed that Team Flare was over– that they were dead– he should have never thought that he could simply live life now.

Alain had thought he had known true fear many times in his life... but never had he been more frightened than the day when he had seen Lysandre walk out of the shadows two years ago, smiling as if a day hadn’t passed since his ‘death’ at the Kalos Crisis.

“Are you listening, Alain?” Lysandre asked in a low voice, snapping Alain out of his memories.

“Of c-course sir!” Alain cried, wheeling around to face the screen.

“Good,” Lysandre said, leaning back in his chair. “Now, as I was saying, I believe you should take Mairin up on her... offer.”

Alain stared at him. “...I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“You heard her,” Lysandre said with a gentle smile. “She’d be more than willing to take full custody of Faith if it was the best for her daughter... which it is. Don’t you agree?”

Alain froze in his tracks.  _ “No!” _

The word fled from his throat before he could even consider if it’d be a good idea screaming out like that– and Lysandre raised an eyebrow. Alain was tense, but not even his fear could keep him back. A blazing anger was rising up in him, and he had no intentions of keeping it back. The papers he had been holding fell from his hands, fingers curling to fists.

“Would you like to reword that?” Lysandre asked.

“No,” Alain growled, taking a step towards the computer. “No, I wouldn’t. We had a deal– you can’t break that!”

“Hmm?” Lysandre asked. “I suppose you have a point... how about I honor our bargein the same way you honored your promise to me all those years ago, Alain? If I recalled correctly... you stabbed me in the back.”

Chills raced down Alain’s back. “I- I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me now!” He cried. “I took myself out of everyone’s life, I’ve followed through on every assignment you’ve given me– collected every piece of research you wanted! I- I-  _ I left Mairin for you!” _

Lysandre smiled. “No, I’m pretty sure you left her for  _ her. _ Willing to leave the girl you loved in tears...”

Alain’s hands seized the top of the chair of his desk. “I left her so you wouldn’t kill her,” Alain whispered, limbs starting to shake. “Y-you swore that Faith could stay in my life.”

Lysandre sighed. “Must you always take it to this level, Alain? If you simply would do as I ask of you, then it wouldn’t come to this, but...” Lysandre stood up, glaring at Alain across the screen– and his blood ran cold. “Your options are simple Alain. The girl is causing nothing but wasted time for me– and I want her gone. Either you agree to get her out of your life– or else I’ll remove her for you.”

“Lay even a finger on my daughter,” Alain snarled, his voice deadly cold. “And I’ll kill you.”

Lysandre didn’t even blink. “Because that worked so well the first time,” He snapped his fingers, and on screen a Flare grunt rushed forward with a glass of wine in hand. “You have... one day to decide, Alain. Either the girl is separated from you legally– or I make sure she’s separated from you permanently. We will speak tomorrow– choose well.”

With that Lysandre took a sip of his wine, and the screen went dark.

Alain stood there, alone in his office, heart racing.

“No... no... no!” Alain cried, slamming his fists down onto his desk, breathing heavily. Anger and panic running through him. He stood there, limbs shaking, wanting to seize the computer in front of him and fling it across the room.

Instead, Alain sank down into his chair, burying his head into his hands.

“Not again...” Alain whispered. “I can’t do this again...”

This what had happened exactly with Mairin... The painful memories crawled to the surface, the pained look in her eyes as he destroyed the relationship they had worked so hard to build up. The truth hadn’t been an option, so instead he had lied... lied knowing it was the only way to keep her breathing. It was the threat of her life that kept him in line to this day...

But he had Faith, he had been allowed to keep Faith, but now...

He pulled his hands back, staring down at his palms as he blinked back tears. He... he couldn’t do this again. He couldn’t lose another person he loved, forcing them out of his life...

But he already knew what his choice would be– because he didn’t have one. He had already lost everything in his life– and now he had to loose his daughter.

...But if it meant protecting her, then he’d do it in a heartbeat.

* * *

 

“Give me this week.”

Alain’s limbs were shaking as he spoke, yet his voice was firm. He stared down at the phone in his hands, blue eyes sharp as he looked into the gaze of the one he hated.

“This week for what?” Lysandre asked, his image flickering on the screen.

“Give me the rest of this week to be with Faith,” Alain said. “That’s all I ask– and then I’ll be y-yours.”

Lysandre looked up at him, regarding him for a moment. “I believe I would have no issue getting you to do as I wish without wasting valuable time.”

Alain’s heart was thumping– he knew this was true. They had his Pokemon, and they knew where Mairin and Faith lived. It wouldn’t take much for Alain to be bent straight back to Lysandre’s will– that was how he had gotten into this situation in the first place.

“Th-that’s why I’m asking,” Alain said in a quiet voice, and he stared at the screen. “You’re right– I am nothing but a pawn under your control. With a few... threats I will bend to your will. I am not demanding anything of you, I am asking–  _ pleading. _ Give me this week– let me have this chance to be with my daughter one last time.”

“And what do I have to gain from that?” Lysandre asked.

“My undying loyalty,” Alain whispered back. “We both know that I’m looking for any possible way out of this– but that will cease if you give me this. Give me a chance to be with my daughter before I lose her forever. Prove to me that you have a heart somewhere– and I’ll be yours.”

Alain’s heart ached as he said this– and he promised his loyalty to the one he loathed. But yet he stayed still, staring at the screen. There was no way out of this situation– whether he came willingly or under threat, the results would be the same. He would be Lysandre's pawn no matter what happened.

But this way he might have some chance to see his little girl before she was taken.

Lysandre didn’t answer back right away, taking a long sip of wine.

“Do you realize what I’d do if you were to even make one mistake after a declaration like that?” Lysandre asked softly.

“Yes,” Alain replied, gaze unchanging. “I am well aware of what you’re capable of– killing the p-professor proved that to me.”

Lysandre pressed his lips together in a tight smile, as if humored by this. “Very well then, Alain, I will give you the rest of this week. I expect you to drop off your current assignment as it is at the normal meeting place– and then you have until Saturday, at noon, to return there. I will deal with the matters of dropping custody, go run off and be with your daughter.”

Alain’s eyes widened– barely believing his ears.

Yes, he had been prepared to beg and pledge his loyalty– but he hadn’t expected Lysandre to have actually give him this.

“Th-thank you sir...” Alain whispered– although he hated the fact that he was thanking this monster.

Lysandre smiled. “Your love for her is truly beautiful. It is quite a shame more people do not see family as you do– and a shame that you do not see my goals the way I do,” Lysandre paused. “Also, I expect you to inform Mairin as swiftly as possible. The quicker this goes through the sooner you’ll have no more connections to them– meaning I can finally make full use of you.”

Alain barely took in his words– he had a chance to be with his daughter. A chance to truly spend time with his daughter. It couldn’t be here of course– it would have to be somewhere far from this horrible place... He’d need to buy food today still, and perhaps more for Faith–

Alain blinked– this would be his last time being with Faith, ever.

This would be the last time he’d be with his family.

...But after this they would be safe, and away from him,

This was for the best.

* * *

 

“I decided that... that you should take full custody of Faith.”

Alain’s voice hurt as he forced the words from his throat, as he made himself speak the very thing he didn’t want to do. His eyes flickered about, scanning the roads around them, afraid of what Mairin would say.

The phone was resting in his cup holder of the car, and he was bracing himself for the words that would come from Mairin. For the anger that was surely about to come, for the further weight and responsibility he was forcing on her.

“Wh-wha–?”

But instead of anger, Mairin simply sounded startled, her voice soft. But still– Alain didn’t look down at the screen, his eyes remaining on the road as he forced himself to drive on.

“You said it yourself– I don’t have the time to be a proper parent for her,” He replied. “It would be better for everyone if you just took full custody of her. I wouldn’t need visitation rights or anything, you’d be able to raise her as you wish.”

The words were forced, a script. Convince Mairin that this was what he wanted. That this was for the best.

“Wha– no– no!” Mairin cried. “I– I never said that, Alain–”

Alain could hear the shift in her voice, and he cut her off. “I’ve been thinking on this since last night, you won’t change my mind. After this week is over she’ll be just yours, I should already have things in process–”

“I said no, Alain!” Mairin cried, and Alain felt the words get caught in his throat. “I– I didn’t mean it, okay! I never truly meant to try to take Faith from your life! I just wanted you to be there for her, that’s all– please just don’t jump on– on these ideas! Maybe, m-maybe I’ve been too hard on you and–”

Oh it hurt, hearing her like this hurt. His heart ached as he heard her act like she was at fault, even though he was the only one to blame– even though he had ripped her from a happy life into one of struggle. And it hurt because he knew that he couldn’t take Faith back, even though Mairin clearly didn’t want that to happen.

“I think it’s quite clear I’m not able to be there for her,” His voice was harsh, far from what he was feeling. “I’ve made my decision, Mairin.”

She was silent, and Alain couldn’t help but glance down at the phone as he turned onto his street. There were tears in her beautiful amber eyes, far off, as if lost in another time. For once she didn’t look angry, simply hurt, and Alain’s heart twisted, knowing he was pushing her limits.

No words were said between them as Alain turned into the parking lot for his apartment– a place just a shabby as the rest of this side of town. Alain looked up at the place he had never been able to call home, sitting in the car for a moment. The back of his car was full of groceries and camping gear– there was no way he was going to spend his last few days with his daughter in a bugged apartment. As soon as he got back to Faith they were leaving– before Lysandre could change his mind.

Mairin didn’t speak again until he turned off the car.

“N-no,” She stuttered, and Alain could tell this conversation was exhausting her, pushing her. “I’m not going to let you drop custody. She’s your daughter!”

His daughter. The last light in his life. The person he was about to lose.

“I’d rather we’d be done with this conversation,” Alain turned to face the window, as not to show the tears stinging the edges of his eyes.

“No– we’re not done!” Mairin snarled. “Maybe you can walk out on me–” Alain tensed. “–But I won’t let you walk out on our daughter!”

Abandoned. He made her feel abandoned– unwanted. He had hurt her so much, the girl that had barely any confidence in herself, he had her hurt more. His hands clenched into fists– he hadn’t walked out on her– he still cared for her with every fiber of his being!

“I– I didn’t–” Was all Alain managed to say.

Didn’t she understand how much this hurt him too?! How he was giving up everything to protect them! The professor was dead– Charizard was hurt because he had been too slow– his Pokemon were far from him–  _ he had never wanted to do any of this to her! _

“Faith  _ needs _ you Alain, she wants her father,” Mairin insisted, and he couldn’t help but flinch. “Not a man that locks himself up in his office– but the father she once knew. The one that’d play with her and take her on rides. The father that would sneak her treats when I wasn’t looking, the father that would hold her close and tuck her in at night, the father–”

Her words were too much, the memories rising in his mind– the memories of times he could never have again. The pain was too intense, the emotions too much to hold back at this point. His tears spilled over the same time his emotions did– all of the anger, fear, and pain he had been holding back for months spilling over into his next words as they were torn from his throat.

_ “Just shut up, Mairin!” _

The words he had never said to her, screaming in a tone he had never taken with her before– but it escaped his mouth. The desperation for her to stop bringing up the memories that were the most painful.

But yet saying those words to her were far most painful.

He wished he could retract his words, grab them back and shove them down his throat– but it was too late. They had flown through the air, leaving a tense silent in their place. He could see the reflection of the phone in the window, the way she pulled back on the phone screen, eyes wide with horror. She didn’t say another word, and Alain realized that for the first time since their divorce he had been the one to back her into a corner.

Every part of him wanted to comfort her, to apologize for what he had just said to her– but instead he took in a deep breath.

“I’m back at my apartment,” He said, voice slipping into its normal cold tone, as if the outburst had never happened. “Unless you’d like to continue this conversation in front of your daughter, then I’m going to hang up now.”

Mairin gulped, and Alain raised a hand to wipe away his tears as she was recovering from his outburst. “We... we’re not done with this c-conversation. We’re going to t-talk tomorrow.”

Alain turned, admiration running through him, at how strong she was, still not giving him an inch. 

But he simply reached down, picking up the phone. “Goodbye Mairin.”

Alain pressed the end call button, cutting off his connection to her. Alain stared down at the phone, heart racing at what he had just said.

And then, he broke down sobbing.


	4. Chapter 4

**** “Where are we going, Daddy?” Faith asked in an excited tone, looking out the window eagerly.

“It’s a surprise,” Alain replied.

Another lie to his family

He had no idea where he was driving– just somewhere far away from his apartment and the pain.

“Oh,” Faith said, before perking up. “I love surprises! Daddy, this week is going to be so much fun! The most fun we’ve ever had– maybe this will be the bestest week!”

_ I hope it is. Since this is our last one. _

A pain took hold of his heart as this thought crossed his mind, and his hands tightened on the steering wheel as he drove towards the mountains.

“Daddy, tell me a story!” Faith asked– well, ordered– clearly not about to let a moment of this car ride fall into silence.

A small smile appeared on Alain’s face, before it faded. “What kind of story, sweetie?”

“You pick,” Faith replied, currently bashing her Fennekin doll against the window, as if the stuffed Pokemon were in an intense battle.

“Hmm...” Alain racked his brains, trying to find something appropriate to tell a five year old– but unfortunately most of the things on his mind didn’t fit that category. He tried to turn his thoughts towards children's story, but only painful memories were brought to the surface. “Well... once upon a time there was... um, a beautiful princess...”

“Was her name Faith?” Faith asked hopefully.

“No,” Alain said after a moment, the ‘story’ swiftly taking shape in his mind. “This princess was born before Princess Faith was ever born,” Alain said softly. “This princess didn’t live in a castle, she was adventurous, and she was out exploring the world when she came across a horrifying sight– a monster.”

Faith let out a gasp. “Oh no! Did the monster get her? Did she run?”

“...No, this princess was really brave, and she went right up to the monster,” Alain said, the image of a beautiful girl uncertainly approaching a shadowy figure on a boulder entering his mind. “But the princess... she was able to see past his horrible appearance, and she became close to the monster. And in turn, the monster became close to her. They became friends, companions, and they explored the world together.”

Faith considered this. “Was the monster really a prince in disguise?”

“No sweetie, he was a monster,” Alain’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. “Perhaps he thought he could become a prince for the wonderful princess, because he had grown close to her. He didn’t want to lose the princess, and so he did everything he could keep her close. But the monster had blinded himself, and he began to forget that no matter what he did... he would always be a monster still.”

Faith frowned. “Why does he have to stay a monster, that’s not fair! I feel bad for the monster, Daddy, it sounded like he really liked the princess.”

“He loved her Faith, the monster loved the princess,” Alain whispered.

“What happened to them?” Faith asked, and Alain’s heart tightened. She was so innocent, her voice so concerned for characters she thought to be merely a fairytale, but yet unrealizing to the story he was truly presenting.

“...The monster left the princess,” Alain continued after a moment. “He knew that the princess would be safer away from him, and no matter how much the princess wanted to be with the monster he knew that he had to leave. And so he left.”

“She was all alone?” Faith asked, horrified.

“No,” Alain said firmly. “The monster left her with a very important gift– Faith.”

“...Me?” Faith asked, pulling back.

_ Yes. _ Alain thought, but he didn’t voice this. “No sweetie, she was left with _ faith _ – what you’re named after.”

“Oh...” Faith muttered, and she frowned. “What... what is faith, Daddy?”

Alain blinked– not quite sure how to explain it to a child. He glanced back in the rearview mirror, and saw that her amber eyes were locked on him. Alain gulped, before looking out at the road as he tried to find some explanation for someone so young.

“...When it’s nighttime, you can’t see the sun, right?” Alain asked her, which only made the young girl frown more.

“Of course not, Daddy, that’s why it’s dark!” Faith said, giggling a bit to herself, unable to believe her father didn’t know something so simple.

“So does that mean that the sun doesn’t exist then, because we can’t see it?” Alain continued. “Does it mean that it won’t rise in the morning?”

“Of course the sun so still there!” Faith said, sitting up in her carseat. “It’s on the other side of the world making it daytime in Kanto and Jo-jo and stuff! The sun always rises, Daddy, it always does!”

“You have faith that the sun will rise then– even though you can’t see it at night. That’s what faith is, Faith,” Alain said softly. “Faith is knowing that something is going to happen– even if we can’t see it. Faith is believing that something is true, even if it isn’t in front of us.”

“...So it’s like hoping for something,” Faith said with a nod.

“Hope is a wish– faith is knowing,” Alain said after a moment of thought.

“Cool!” Faith said as she took in the meaning of her name. She smiled for a moment, then her eyes lit up. “Hey, Dad– did you know that Blast Burn is just a kind of Hyper Beam? I saw it on TV, the person was saying that it and these other two moves were not natural moves, and that–”

And then Faith was off, talking about the TV program she had watched last week. Alain smiled faintly, listening to his daughter as she jumped from topic to topic, only pausing to breathe. Alain savored each of her words, not muting out her stories as parents sometimes did without thought. Yet at the same time he was wandering through memories as he drove, Faith’s words guiding him.

Sometimes he was out in their garden, Faith hauling about a Wailmer pail, splashing water everywhere while Mairin tended to their berries plants. Other times throughout the drive he was racing on Charizard’s back, Faith’s tales of flying on a Fennekin drifting into the daydream. Alain didn’t say a word for most of the drive after that– save if Faith asked him something.

Instead he solely remembered, savoring the moments that would always be in the past.

* * *

 

“There’s so many stars, Daddy!”

Alain turned over in his sleeping bag, looking at the small shape tucked away in another sleeping bag– one much too large for her. Alain however had grabbed the first things he had seen at the store, more focused on getting away than he had on practicality.

And in his haste, he had forgotten to buy a tent.

Fortunately Faith didn’t even seem to notice that this critical element of camping was missing– and was thrilled with the idea of sleeping outside.

“Faith, you need to sleep now,” Alain told her gently. He wasn’t sure what time it was, but it was clearly long past the time Faith should be asleep. And as badly as Alain wanted to spend every moment with her... she needed to sleep.

Alain had driven most of the day, passing many camping sites once they had reached the mountains– but he hadn’t stopped at any. Too many humans, too close to ‘home’– he wanted somewhere he could be alone with Faith.

So they had ended up here– where ever ‘here’ was. He had driven up some old dirt road, barely wide enough for his car, driving to the most desolate place he could. Pine trees had surrounded them, nothing but pure nature around them– just what Alain had been looking for.

“I  _ can’t _ sleep,” Faith said dramatically. “There are just too many stars, more than I knew there were! It’s so pretty, I just  _ hafta _ watch them!”

“Is that so?” Alain asked, an amused smile on his face.

“...And it’s cold,” Faith finally admitted after a moment. “Kindle won’t use Flamethrower, and my fingers feel funny, so I can’t fall asleep.”

Alain studied his daughter for a moment, who was curling up deeper into her sleeping bag. Despite this, her amber eyes remained glued to the sky above, truly drawn to the beautiful sight before her. Her Fennekin doll was tucked in under her chin, dark hair blending into the night.

“...Come over here and let’s get you warmed up,” Alain said, unzipping his sleeping bag part way. Faith glanced in his direction, blinking, then her eyes lit up.

It was like she had just learned Quick Attack– Faith darting out of her sleeping bag and towards him in a blink of an eye. He reached up for her, pulling her into the sleeping bag with him before zipping it back up. Faith curled up against her father’s chest in an attempt to get warm, Kindle wrapped up in her arms.

“Thank you, Daddy,” She whispered, and Alain wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Only a few more days... and then she’d be gone. He would never see her again, he would never watch his little girl grown up.

“...I love you, Faith,” Alain whispered. “Please, never forget that.”

“How could I, Daddy?” Faith asked, a small yawn escaping her as she said this.

Alain leaned his head down, so her head was pressed up to his chin as he tried to think of some reply.

But it turned out that he didn’t need one– because the sounds of quiet breathing reached his ears. He blinked, startled that Faith was already asleep– she must have been more tired that he had realized. He held her, listening to Faith’s gentle breathing for a moment. He move his hand so he was holding her tiny fist in his palm.

“Goodnight, Faith,” Alain whispered, before closing his own eyes.

* * *

 

“Kindle used HYPER BEAM!” Faith cried at the top of her lungs, sending her stuffed toy down towards the water bottle that Alain was holding.

“Mudkip used Water Gun,” Alain replied, squeezing the bottle and sending a small burst of water at Faith. She let out a cry as if she had been soaked, leaping back. “And water beats your fire type.”

“Daddy!” She cried, glaring at him in an absolutely adorable way. “Fine! Kindle used... Thunder Punch! Mudkip fainted.”

A grin creeped onto Alain’s face, and he grabbed a flashlight, shining it onto the water bottle. “Oh no! Mudkip is evolving into a Marshtomp– now he’s a ground type. Electric moves don’t work on ground types.”

“That’s not fair, Daddy!” Faith cried, leaping forward and grabbing the flashlight from him. She shined it on her Fennekin doll for a moment, before grabbing a nearby branch from the ground. She dropped the flashlight, then held the doll and the stick so it looked like Kindle was holding it with a paw. “There! Kindle evolved too! Now she’s a... um Branch-xen.”

“Braixen,” Alain corrected with a smile.

“That’s what I said!” Faith held up the doll. “Branch-xen used Psyshock with her branch! Marshtomp fainted!”

Alain let the water bottle fall to the ground. “Braixen wins this round.”

Faith puffed up proudly. “Kindle always wins,” She dropped the stick, holding Kindle overhead. “Kindle turned back into a Fennekin now that the battles over. Just like how Charizard turns back into an orange dragon when her battles over!” Faith glanced at Alain, tilting her head. “Daddy, why didn’t Charizard come camping with us?”

The happy smile on Alain’s face was shattered in an instant, his face falling as Charizard was mentioned. He swiftly looked away from his daughter to scoop up his water bottle, so she didn’t have to see the fear in his eyes. Alain kept his eyes low as he sat near their sleeping bags, breathing heavily, trying to put on his emotionless mask.

“...She’s busy,” Alain said. “She couldn’t come.”

_ She’s being held against her will because I was stupid. _

“But Charizard is always with you Daddy, what is she doing without you?” Faith asked.

_ She’s being hurt for my mistakes. _

“...She’s... she’s keeping us safe,” Alain whispered, knowing that it would hurt too much to lie to Faith again, but he couldn’t tell her the full the truth.

_ Keeping you and Mairin safe by making sure you don’t take her place. _

Faith could see the sorrow in her father’s eyes, and she stepped forward. “Safe from what, Daddy? Is there something dangerous?”

Alain looked helplessly at her, and his breathing became uncontrollable. Alain’s eyes widened as he realized that his lungs weren’t taking in any air. Alain’s hand went to his chest, where his heart was beating wildly, pain rushing through his whole body. Raw fear was rushing through him, building up as he tried to breathe, and the memories bore down on him.

One more night. He only had one more night with Faith– then he would never see his daughter again. His last connection with Mairin would be gone– his family was going to be gone!

“Daddy? Daddy!” Faith cried, her voice sounding desperate. That’s when Alain realized that his world was dark. Suddenly he wasn’t sitting down anymore, his body slumping to the side. He felt the cool dirt against his skin, warm hands grabbing his arm, shaking him.  _ “Daddy!” _

His chest hurt, everything was tightness and pain. Alain could hear everything, but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe– his body wasn’t responding to him. He could feel Faith trying to get some response from him, her voice the only light in his pained body.

_ “Ghuaahhhh!” _ A pained sound escaped Alain as he took in a sudden gasp of air, his lungs aching even more as they started moving once again. Blackness danced across Alain’s vision, sweat dripping from him. He blinked rapidly, limbs twitching as his body remembered how to breathe again.

“D-daddy?” Faith whimpered. “What’s happening? Are y-you okay?”

“...I’m... f-fine...” Alain whispered, his chest still feeling tight. Alain pressed his hands to the ground, pushing himself up. His vision was slowly starting to return, head spinning as he tried to sit up. His muscles were tensed, his chest and his shoulders hurt, but the pain slowly fading. “I’m fine...”

“Daddy, what happened?” Faith asked, fear still in her voice.

“...I’m just t-tired sweetie... I’m s-sorry I scared you...” Alain closed his eyes. “I’m g-going to go lay down for a minute.”

His voice was a rasp, sweat pooling down him, and he didn’t even dare to rise to his feet. The pain wasn’t as bad as before, but still his chest was tight. He crawled towards his sleeping bag, collapsing on top of it. He gritted his teeth, mind racing, and he felt a small hand on him.

“Daddy, are you sick?” Faith asked in a small voice. “I could sing you a song, that’s what Mommy does when I’m sick.”

“...I would l-love that...” Alain rasped.

He closed his eyes, Faith holding his hand as she started to sing him several nursery rhymes. Neither the pain in his chest, nor the emotional pain he was feeling faded– but hearing Faith’s soft voice somehow made him feel like everything was going to be alright. Despite the fact that tomorrow would be the last time he saw her, and the last time he saw Marin.

Everything hurt, but everything seemed like for a moment that it could all work out.

* * *

 

Alain hadn’t meant to do it.

But the whole day had felt like a dream already, a horrible nightmare that he couldn’t wake up from. He had clung to Faith, afraid of letting go of her as they had packed up from their camping trip. Every word he had heard had felt echoey– even as he had made plans to speak to Mairin.

He had known what she had wanted– to speak on the one thing he couldn’t change. But yet he had still said yes to speaking to her– because he knew it would be his last chance.

She had been facing the cement wall, her back to him as they had slipped right back into fighting as they always did– the very last thing he had wanted. This was not how he wanted to remember her, or her to remember him. Tears had stung his eyes as he had stood there, helpless to her words that he so desperately wanted to agree with.

“Then why Alain?” Mairin had asked bitterly. “Why do you act like you care– but then put so much effort into doing the opposite!”

He hadn’t been able to reply– because as always she was right. He put in so much effort to keep them away– but he did care. He did care about them so much. Memories rose in his mind, of the way he had once held her– both  _ her _ and her trust. Alain couldn’t help but take a step towards her, taking in his wife for one last time.

He barely realized at the time that he was taking more steps towards her, his heart racing. As soon as they walked out of this building she would be gone forever, Mairin and Faith would be gone forever.

It was at this point Mairin took in a deep breath, slowly turning to face Alain once more. He slowly blinked as she stiffened up, startled at his closeness. His heart thumped sadily as she stared, realizing that there was once a time that she wouldn’t have pulled back like this...

He just wanted one moment with her, one more...

“A-alain?” She asked as he stared at her. He hesitated, the thoughts running through his head mere memories– he didn’t mean for them to become actions.

But that didn’t stop Alain from closing the space between them.

He hadn’t meant to– but that didn’t change the fact that he seized her shoulders, pressing her back against the wall. Emotions were running through him, sorrow and pain for what he was about to lose. He forced his lips onto hers, kissing the girl he loved with every fiber of his being, of the one he had been without for so long.

She was tense– but only for a moment. He was pressed up against her, the familiarity of the kiss driving him forward, keeping him from pulling back. He felt her relax in his arms, and the next thing he knew she was pressing back into his kiss. A surge of happiness rose within him, with a force he hadn’t felt in nearly a year.

His hands went to her back, and her hands to his neck. The reality of their situation was fading as he felt her hold him as she always had. The horror of his life retreated, memories rushing to the surface. In that moment there was nothing but him and Mairin, lost in a time where they still had trust between them. He pressed in closer, letting his restrained emotions guide him for once as they kissed each other with a forgotten passion.

It wasn’t until Mairin shoved him away that he was able to once more get a hold on the present.

She pushed him away with just as much despreration he had with the kiss. He stumbled back at the force of his shove, trying to regain his balance. His heart thumped, mind racing to try to fully realize just what was happened.

“Wh-wha–” Her voice was shaking, but yet she managed to spit out the words. “What was  _ that?!” _

Her hands closed into fists, leaning up against the wall, face flushed bright red. Alain looked at her, feeling his eyes widened as he realized what he had done– what he had just forced her to do.

“I...” His voice was soft, and he wasn’t even sure if Mairin had heard him. He was pale, sweat starting to cover his skin. His heart was racing, bitterness for himself rising up in him as he saw tears enter Mairin’s.

“H-how could you?!” Mairin spat, tears pouring down her face.

“I’m sorry...” Alain whispered, and his stomach twisted. “I d-didn’t mean...”

Didn’t mean what? Guilt bore down, hands shaking. He had broken her heart– then he had forced her into a kiss. His throat tightened, and he looked away, not able to say another word. 

Silence filled the room.

“M-maybe you are right,” Mairin said after a moment. “Maybe it would be best if you weren’t in our lives.”

The words stung as she spoke– after hearing nothing but her fighting against him leaving, her begging him to stay in their daughter’s life– it hurt to hear Mairin agree with him. Alain’s heart sputtered, and he took a step towards her, guilt dragging his heart down to his stomach.

“Mairin, I didn’t mean to–!” Alain began.

“Shut up!” Mairin screamed– the same words he had said to her earlier this week. Alain sat frozen as she raced forward, and he couldn’t help but reach out towards her. Mairin’s eyes flashed, and she slapped his hand away. He pulled back as she stormed out of the building, more hurt by the action than the actual slap.

Alain stood there, frozen as she walked away. His heart was thumping– so hard that it was becoming the only sound he could hear, roaring through his thoughts.

He had failed. He had failed to even be civil the last time he would see the woman he had once called his wife. She would walk away today with this memory defining him, forever held next to his name. He had hurt her, again.

But yet... Alain’s fingers brushed by his lips, remember the way she had kissed him back, even if it was for a moment. He closed his eyes, and while he hated how selfish he was being, he was glad that he had been able to share one last kiss with her.

...His last time with her... she would be leaving right away, with Faith... he’d never see them again...

Faith...

No, he needed one more chance to say goodbye to her!

“Mairin, wait!” Alain called– racing out of the building after her. She stiffened as he bolted to catch up. “Mairin, I–”

_ “Stay away from me!”  _ The words flew from her mouth, and she spun around to face him, the sudden action making Alain freeze. She stumbled back as she saw him, rage and fear in her eyes, and he felt sick. 

He looked at Mairin– and this time he hid nothing from her. He looked at her without a mask, showing her what he was truly feeling– broken sorrow.

“I’m... I’m sorry, I...”

Alain broke off, but he wasn’t apologizing for what he had done today– he was apologizing for everything. For every time he had lied to her, hurt her, made feel anything that wasn’t the pure joy she deserved– the joy she had once nothing but radiated.

But she would now be safe.

Everything seemed to blur after that– Mairin’s screams of anger as he took a step closer, her lawyer’s cold voice, and Faith’s confusion. He just stood there staring at them, taking them in one last time. He couldn’t even find the desire to cry, knowing that it would only take away from what he was seeing.

Mairin had Faith’s hands wrapped tightly in her own, trying to pull their daughter towards the car. Faith tugged against her, but Mairin looked too shaken to truly noticed, eyes locked on her car.

“My backpack!” Faith cried, pulling out of Mairin’s hand, racing straight towards Alain. “Daddy– my backpack is still in your car!”

Her words echoed through Alain’s mind, each rebounding word slowly gathering his focus. His head shifted towards Faith, eyes widening as she reached him. Alain stared at her, trying to digest the meaning for her sentence, and his gaze flickered towards Mairin.

“Let’s go get it then,” Alain said softly, swiftly pulling his head away.

Alain stumbled towards his car, Faith by his side as he pulled open the door. There sat Faith’s pink backpack, and he picked it up with shaking hands. He turned back towards his little girl, her hands held out, amber eyes gleaming. He held out the backpack, knowing that there’d be no reason left for her to stay once she took it.

Right before her hands reached the backpack he dropped it– his hands racing out and seizing his daughter instead. He pulled her into a sudden hug, Faith letting out a small yip of surprise as she was pulled up into the air. He cradled her to his chest, hands wrapped around her as he gave her a crushing hug.

“I love you,” Alain told Faith in a fierce tone, forcing every emotion he could into his voice. “Don’t you ever forget that– I love you with all my heart.”

“I know that, Daddy,” Faith replied, causing Alain to close his eyes as she returned the embrace. “I love you too.”

Alain’s breathing became heavy as he heard this, as he listened to his little girl tell him those precious words one more time. As he held her Alain wondered if that would be the last time anyone ever told him that. Tears poured from his eyes, despite them being locked shut, and it took everything he had not to breakdown right then. He needed to be strong for Faith.

“I love you, I love you, _ I love you,” _ He repeated the words over and over, making sure that she knew that it was true. 

Then Alain opened his eyes– his piercing blue gaze staring straight at Mairin She froze up, but Alain made sure he was watching her and only her. 

“No matter what anyone tells you, no matter what you think–  _ I love you.” _

This time he wasn’t speaking to Faith.

He didn’t know how Mairin took his words, if she realized they were meant for her, or if she had believed he had still been speaking to Faith. It didn’t matter though, as he sat Faith on the ground. She happily picked up her backpack and her Fennekin doll. She then looked up at Alain with a small smile– but soon tilted her head.

“Are those happy tears in your eyes, Daddy?” She asked in a concerned voice.

Tears were slipping from his eyes, his limbs shaking as he knelt down to place his hands on Faith’s shoulders. His throat tightened, but he forced his voice to be smooth as he spoke. “It doesn’t matter Faith. All that matters is you know I love you– okay? Everything’s going to be okay, you just need to go with your mother, alright?”

Faith blinked, clearly confused, but she nodded. “Okay Daddy,” She chirped, and then she leaned forward, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you next month, Daddy!”

His chest tightened, for a moment forgetting how to breathe as a wave of sorrow crashed down on him. There would be no next month, or next time, or next year.

Faith skipped back towards Mairin– and Alain knew that he would never see her again.

“Goodbye Faith,” He said softly, and Mairin lead her away. His beautiful daughter was lead away from him– tucked into a car that would take her from him. Alain took a step forward, wanting to say so much more. Goodbye wasn’t enough– goodbye could never tell her how much he cared!

Mairin shut the back door, and her lawyer stepped up. He spoke softly, his eyes unhappily flickering towards Alain. He closed his eyes, then forced himself to walk towards his own car– telling himself it was over.

But he couldn’t help but look back– the same moment Mairin turned to look back at him.

Amber eyes met blue– before she twisted her head away.

Cilan pulled away, at last allowing Mairin to get into the driver’s seat. The sound of the door closing made Alain flinch– and he continued to watch the car. He watched their silhouettes, Mairin buckling up, Faith playing with Kindle, it was just so simple.

He burned the image away in his mind– vowing to never forget this moment. He would forever hold today in his mind, and he would forever hold them in his heart.

But it was over.

But this was also for the best– the ones that he loved would be safe.

His gaze was unreadable as she started the car– and she adjusted the mirror and drove away. Despite the blank look on his face, his heart was bursting. The pain was overwhelming, and he didn’t know if it was his heart or his body. He stumbled a few steps forward, as if wanting to run after their car as it drove off, as it took away the only things he had ever cared about.

His vision became blurry, tears pouring down his face. He took in a shaking breath, leaning up against his car as it watched her drive off. It was just a blue smudge in his sight, but he knew what it meant. He watched it as it became small, whirling down the road.

Then it turned a corner, and it was gone.

“...There was once a time she would have done anything for you, you know?” A dark voice said behind him, and Alain turned.

Cilan was standing near Alain, arms crossed. The normally cheerful man had narrowed eyes, bitterness in his gaze.

“I know...” Alain whispered.

“You hurt her– you hurt someone that didn’t deserve the pain,” Cilan muttered, shaking his head. “I’m just glad that you now can’t harm her further.”

“...So am I...” Alain whispered, and he clutched his keys in his hand, stumbling towards his car. He didn’t say another word to the lawyer, knowing that he was only his enemy.

But at the same time someone he could trust– because he wanted to help Mairin.

Alain started his car, shaking as he pulled out of the parking lot. The radio was playing– but he didn’t hear the words as he forced himself to move away from the place that had taken everything from him. He glanced down the long and empty road– before driving off in the opposite direction that Mairin had gone. He would never hear from her again, and he had to accept that.

But she would hear from him one more time– through a simple white envelope resting in Faith’s bag. Alain didn’t know if Faith would remember to give it to her, or if Mairin would even bother reading the letter, but Alain knew the words in it by heart.

The envelope would be crinkled, closed with a piece of tape thanks to how many times it had been opened and handled. In the corner was the address to her house, since he had once considered mailing it to her, but he had decided against it. He had written the letter many times, had erased and restarted more times than he could count– but he still knew the words by heart.

_ Mairin– _

_ If you are reading this letter, then that means that something has happened, and we can no longer have contact of any form. I do not know what the circumstances are at the time of writing this– but for the sake of you and Faith do not seek me out. _

_ I know you probably have no reason to listen to me, but at least please take my words into consideration. _

_ Kalos is not the best place to be– for reasons I cannot explain nor do I think you would believe me. Sell the house, it is too big for someone in your situation to need to worry about, then take that money and leave the region. Kanto, Johto– those would be far enough away. Hoenn if you want somewhere warm. _

_ There are several other papers in this envelope, including one with information to a bank account that no one else should know about– if I’ve been covering by tracks right. Do not open this account until my original account no longer is sending you alimony, which I’ve set up to last at least another two years with monthly payments. Only then do I want you to access this other account. _

_ Once this second account runs dry then I am afraid I will have nothing left to give you. I’m sorry, but please, even then do not seek me, I will only lead you into danger. _

_ I know it's unfair to leave you on this note, but it was the only way to protect you and Faith. Please take care of Faith, Mairin, take care of her for me. I love her so much, and if you are reading this letter that means that I am loosing her too. _

_ A part of me hopes you never read this letter, because that means that I get to keep you close. But at the same time I hope that you do, because I finally get to tell you one more time: _

_ I love you. _

_ Perhaps this is the most unfair thing I can say to you, Mairin, but I want you to know that I have never stopped loving you. Anything I have said otherwise was a lie. I have always dedicated my heart to you, and there will never be anyone else that can take that place. You have no reason to believe me, no reason to trust me– because I am sure I have done nothing but lie to you up until now. I am sorry, I am sorry if I have done anything that has hurt you or Faith– but I swear it was all to protect you! _

_ This is the last time you will hear from me. I do not know where I am heading, but I know it will be far from here. _

_ Safe travels Mairin, _

_ With love– _

_ Alain. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, at last this story draws to a close. Thank you for taking the time to read my work.
> 
> My friend MysticDelphox97 has asked me if they could make a sequel for this story, to which I said yes. This story is their own work and will follow their own headcanons, but they intend on giving this sequel a good ending. :) If you are looking for a happier ending I recommend you go check out their story, "Never Say Goodbye".


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